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Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

A Time Traveler Is Predicting The End Of The World When?

March 1st, 2024
A Time Traveler Is Predicting The End Of The World When?

The Middle East is erupting in violence. People are protesting. We’ve got two senile people running for president. And yet we’ve got bigger things to worry about, people! Like this: A TIME TRAVELER FROM THE YEAR 2485 IS PREDICTING THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!!!! When???? When???? When?????? Well, glad you asked, because it allowed me to get rid of some of those question marks I had left over after I stocked up on them during covid. Well, listen to a story about a man named Jed. Poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. But then one day, he was shooting at some food, and up through... Read More

Are UFOs Invading Illinois And Iowa? Strange Alien Sightings Increasing Over Summer

July 28th, 2023
Are UFOs Invading Illinois And Iowa? Strange Alien Sightings Increasing Over Summer

Is ET shopping at HyVee? As UFO sightings increase across the nation, and a Pentagon whistleblower is testifying about the government having UFOs and “extraterrestrial non-human beings” in their custody, there have been a handful of alleged UFO sightings over the Quad-Cities. The latest one flew onto local radar over the weekend, this time over central Rock Island. Previous sightings have occurred in east Davenport near Bettendorf and in downtown Rock Island and Davenport, during a sighting of possibly two UFOs floating high over the Mississippi River from the Iowa side into the Illinois... Read More

Is Today’s Iowa Tornado Storm Part Of An Alien Invasion?

March 31st, 2023
Is Today's Iowa Tornado Storm Part Of An Alien Invasion?

It’s the latest rumor ripping around the TikTok space and beyond — strange weather patterns and storms, particularly tornadoes, are all part of a front to disguise alien invasions which are happening right now, and are going to become more and more prominent and in-our-face as the year goes on! Of course it sounds like total BS, but, hey, what doesn’t on TikTok anymore? At least it’s entertaining, and we could all use some of that these days, with all the bad news out there and the fact that one trip to the grocery store costs several thousand dollars. In all seriousness,... Read More

What’s Coming Next? More Dire Warnings And Strange News From The Time Traveler From 2714

August 12th, 2022
What's Coming Next? More Dire Warnings And Strange News From The Time Traveler From 2714

CERN got started up again this week, possibly flinging us into another dimension. Voyager went down, screwing over me and several million other crypto investors. And James Caan just died. None of these things were predicted by the Time Traveler from 2714, although that hasn’t stopped him from continuing to make predictions. And, despite his track record being dubious, it hasn’t stopped me, and many others, from being amused and intrigued by his b*llshit posts. As regular readers of this column know, I love reading about time travel, and the predictions of alleged time travelers. And... Read More

Forget Whoopi And Rogan, The Time Traveler From 2485 Is Back With Shocking News!

February 4th, 2022
Forget Whoopi And Rogan, The Time Traveler From 2485 Is Back With Shocking News!

This week has been an incredibly eventful one. Neil Young pulled his music from Amazon to protest them exploiting children and using forced child labor in China. Oh, wait, no, he actually didn’t! He actually told people to go to Amazon and listen to his music there! Young pulled his music from Spotify, in protest over the Joe Rogan podcast having on guests who espouse controversial theories on covid-19, like, you can catch it from believing CNN when they push fake wars and say that Saddam Hussein has been housing massive caches of weapons of mass destruction. Of course, the real virus spreading... Read More

The Time Traveler From 2714 Is Back, And You’re Going To Be Shocked…

January 14th, 2022
The Time Traveler From 2714 Is Back, And You're Going To Be Shocked...

He’s back. And what he’s got to say is going to shock you. Maybe. I guess it depends on your tolerance for shock. Anyway, as regular readers of this column know, I love reading about time travel, and the predictions of alleged time travelers. And while my all-time favorite is the legendary John Titor, one of my current favorites is a guy on TikTok who has gone by various names as he’s morphed his account. Currently he goes by the handle Aery Yormany, @aesthetictimewarper, and as he claims on his page, “I am back, I now travel to the past to unveil the truth.” And you... Read More

From Time Travelers To JFK Jr, Is A Celebrity REALLY Going To Return From The Dead?

November 5th, 2021
From Time Travelers To JFK Jr, Is A Celebrity REALLY Going To Return From The Dead?

This week, Q-Anon followers discovered what it was like to be Elaine Benes. No, not because they were denied harshly by the Soup Nazi. But because, much like the “Seinfeld” character, they were disappointed and jilted by their beloved John F. Kennedy Jr. Unlike Elaine, they didn’t meet him at the gym and get beaten to bed by Marla the Virgin. Instead, they were left hanging in Dallas expecting him to return from the dead, and disappointed when zombie JFK Jr didn’t turn up. Ya know, typical Tuesday. At least for Q-Anon. Apparently, there had been a rumor that turned into... Read More

Will The Time Traveler From 2485 Be Right? Will Aliens Invade Earth Tuesday?

September 5th, 2021
Will The Time Traveler From 2485 Be Right? Will Aliens Invade Earth Tuesday?

Well, there’s still time to stock up on toilet paper. As previously reported on QuadCities.com, your local news source for breaking news about time travelers on TikTok and alien invasions, our old friend the time traveler from 2485, as well as a couple of other time travelers (do they call each other and coordinate this stuff?) have predicted the earth will be invaded by aliens this week. When will this event occur? Don’t worry, it won’t interrupt your Labor Day barbecue and celebration. Those considerate aliens are going to let us have our holiday before completely rocking our... Read More

It’s Going To Be An Extremely Eventful Week, According To Time Travelers And Aliens

September 3rd, 2021
It's Going To Be An Extremely Eventful Week, According To Time Travelers And Aliens

Listen, folks, if you can’t trust time travelers and aliens posting on TikTok, really, who can you trust? And those time travelers and aliens are BOTH in agreement that the Pumpkin Cold Brew is far superior to the overhyped Pumpkin Spice Latte. And I agree with them. But aside from that incredibly important information, the aliens and time travelers also agree that this is going to be an astoundingly eventful week for us — especially next Tuesday, when a number of humans are going to win the alien abduction lottery, treating them to fabulous cash and prizes! According to one TikTok... Read More

From Trump To Time Travelers, Aliens To A Shutdown, It’s Going To Be A Busy Weekend

August 13th, 2021
From Trump To Time Travelers, Aliens To A Shutdown, It's Going To Be A Busy Weekend

So, is Donald Trump president yet? I’m writing this column around 10 p.m. Thursday night and it’s scheduled for 9:09 a.m. Friday, and I’m not sure what the exact scheduled time is for Trump to be officially reinstated as president or, according to some people, revealed as always having been president all along. Nope, I’m not kidding. No less of a reliable source than the MyPillow guy has said that Trump is going to be reinstated as president today, Friday, Aug. 13. This has followed previous claims that Trump was going to be reinstated as president on Jan. 20, March 4, and... Read More