Quantcast
   
Monday - August 10, 2020
Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

Taylor Swift Offers More Than ‘Folklore’ About Her Illuminati Ties

July 31st, 2020

Listen, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Wow! Taylor Swift just released a new album! I wonder which ex-boyfriends all her songs are about?” Oh, you naïve child. Taylor Swift’s songs have never been about ex-boyfriends, any more than Planet Ping Pong’s pizza menu has been about pizza. Of course, those of us who aren’t SHEEPLE all know Taylor (I can call her Taylor) has long been a tool of the Illuminati, and her songs have incorporated secret coded metaphors for the takeover of the world. “Blank Space?” About people having their memories erased and reprogrammed... Read More

Forget Q-Anon, It’s Time To Go Down The Rabbit Hole To Discover A New Conspiracy Hero, S-Anon

July 17th, 2020

Listen, I’m not going to say that Kanye West dropped out of the race for President of the United States just because I announced I was running. After all, I’m writing this, not reading it out loud. But I do find it coincidental that after I announced I was running for president last Friday, within days, Kanye suddenly dropped his 2020 campaign. Hmmm. Suspicious. Kind of like a lot of other behavior by famous folks lately. Perhaps you’ve been hearing about some of it. Certain big-name celebrities have been shockingly AWOL the past few months. Tom Hanks. Ellen DeGeneres. Pauly Shore. All of... Read More

Forget Kanye, I Am Formally Announcing My 2020 Campaign For President!

July 10th, 2020

Ok, so about 50 percent of you hate Donald Trump. And, about 50 percent of you hate Joe Biden. But, probably about 90 percent of you, whether you like his music or not, think Kanye West is pretty freaking insane. This week, Ye, as the kids like to call him, was more crazy like a fox with the brilliant public relations stunt of announcing he’s going to run for president. Never mind that he hasn’t formally filed to run, and never mind that he’s way past the deadline to do so or be on the ballot in a vast majority of states, so technically, he has no chance. The fact that he announced it at... Read More

New Epstein Doc on Netflix Follows Dogged, Determined Pursuit of Justice

June 1st, 2020

America in late May 2020 turned into a dystopian hellscape of grief, loss, and rage. A relentless global pandemic has killed over 100,000 U.S. citizens just since March; 40 million are on unemployment; a nation has been tense, restless and confused in shutdown, and 75 cities were plunged into chaos and violence this past weekend as thousands protested racial inequality and police brutality – including looting, rioting and death in Davenport late Sunday night. So, it is oddly comforting to find calm, methodical distraction in a new Netflix documentary that recalls a different kind of terror and... Read More

Festival Of Trees Did The Right Thing By Making Fest Apolitical Again

November 19th, 2019

For the past few months, my Iowa friends have been deeply envious of my Illinois address. Not because of the upcoming legalization of pot, nor because of the lack of flooding, but rather because I don’t have to deal with the constant deluge of politics and politicians dumping on them. With everything from TV and radio commercials to rallies to appearances to door-to-door visits to telemarketing calls and polls, the good people of Iowa have been hit by an avalanche of politics in advance of the caucus next year. And regardless of anyone’s beliefs or sympathies towards any candidate, all of them... Read More

Sean Leary’s Big Speech Ready To Roll Into The RNC

July 21st, 2016

By now, I’m sure all of you have heard about the controversy surrounding Melania Trump’s speech at the Republican National Convention, which, as countless memes and articles have pointed out, bears something of a more than passing resemblance to a Michelle Obama speech from some year that I don’t feel like Googling right now. But, Melania, stay sweet, girl. I feel you. Tonight, I will give my speech at the Republican National Convention. I know, I know, you might not have heard about this. Perhaps this is because the Trump people or the RNC have wanted to keep my appearance hush-hush, perhaps... Read More

Translate