The Middle East is erupting in violence. People are protesting. We’ve got two senile people running for president. And yet we’ve got bigger things to worry about, people! Like this: A TIME TRAVELER FROM THE YEAR 2485 IS PREDICTING THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!!!! When???? When???? When?????? Well, glad you asked, because it allowed me to get rid of some of those question marks I had left over after I stocked up on them during covid. Well, listen to a story about a man named Jed. Poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. But then one day, he was shooting at some food, and up through... Read More

It’s the end of the year as we know it, and, so far, we feel fine. But will we still feel fine in 2023??? The Time Traveler from 2714 knows! Or, well, pretends that he knows! The Time Traveler from 2714 is back on TikTok, and is back making predictions for the new year. And, despite his track record being dubious, it hasn’t stopped me, and many others, from being amused and intrigued by his b*llshit posts. As regular readers of this column know, I love reading about time travel, and the predictions of alleged time travelers. And while my all-time favorite is the legendary John Titor,... Read More

One of the most popular columns I’ve ever written was a fun whirl through the predictions of an alleged time traveler from the year 2485. Since it was published last fall, it’s been read by hundreds of thousands of people worldwide. Every day, it gets hundreds, sometimes thousands, of views. When I first wrote it, I had no idea it was going to be so popular. I was just fascinated and amused by this person claiming to be from the future, putting predictions out there on the Internet. If I had known it was going to be so popular, I probably would’ve included a plug for one of my... Read More

I hope you’re stocked up on pizza rolls and champagne! Because a HUGE WORLD EVENT is going to happen TOMORROW. How do I know? A time traveler told me. Yup, that’s right. A time traveler. No, I haven’t been out to the Milan dispensary this morning, I’m talking about a person calling themselves @thatonetimetraveler on TikTok, who claims to be from the year 2485, where their company, Aura, has built the first functioning time machine. The time traveler, who also claims to be human and from the planet Vadho (you know, where Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion built that house),... Read More

There’s been a long history of people claiming to be time travelers. And there’s been an even longer history of people just being full of crap. Oddly enough, the Venn diagram between the two is almost an identical shadow of two circles. Certainly, there are maybe one or two instances that have made me, and others, go “hmmmm.” But most of them have made me, and others, go, “Oh geez, this is friggin’ baloney.” One of the most infamous of these among the bologna category was John Titor. Now, back in the ‘90s and up to the mid-2000s, one of the most famous radio shows in the country... Read More