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Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

Forget Whoopi And Rogan, The Time Traveler From 2485 Is Back With Shocking News!

February 4th, 2022
Forget Whoopi And Rogan, The Time Traveler From 2485 Is Back With Shocking News!

This week has been an incredibly eventful one. Neil Young pulled his music from Amazon to protest them exploiting children and using forced child labor in China. Oh, wait, no, he actually didn’t! He actually told people to go to Amazon and listen to his music there! Young pulled his music from Spotify, in protest over the Joe Rogan podcast having on guests who espouse controversial theories on covid-19, like, you can catch it from believing CNN when they push fake wars and say that Saddam Hussein has been housing massive caches of weapons of mass destruction. Of course, the real virus spreading... Read More

The Time Traveler From 2714 Is Back, And You’re Going To Be Shocked…

January 14th, 2022
The Time Traveler From 2714 Is Back, And You're Going To Be Shocked...

He’s back. And what he’s got to say is going to shock you. Maybe. I guess it depends on your tolerance for shock. Anyway, as regular readers of this column know, I love reading about time travel, and the predictions of alleged time travelers. And while my all-time favorite is the legendary John Titor, one of my current favorites is a guy on TikTok who has gone by various names as he’s morphed his account. Currently he goes by the handle Aery Yormany, @aesthetictimewarper, and as he claims on his page, “I am back, I now travel to the past to unveil the truth.” And you... Read More

Will The Time Traveler From 2485 Be Right? Will Aliens Invade Earth Tuesday?

September 5th, 2021
Will The Time Traveler From 2485 Be Right? Will Aliens Invade Earth Tuesday?

Well, there’s still time to stock up on toilet paper. As previously reported on QuadCities.com, your local news source for breaking news about time travelers on TikTok and alien invasions, our old friend the time traveler from 2485, as well as a couple of other time travelers (do they call each other and coordinate this stuff?) have predicted the earth will be invaded by aliens this week. When will this event occur? Don’t worry, it won’t interrupt your Labor Day barbecue and celebration. Those considerate aliens are going to let us have our holiday before completely rocking our... Read More

It’s Going To Be An Extremely Eventful Week, According To Time Travelers And Aliens

September 3rd, 2021
It's Going To Be An Extremely Eventful Week, According To Time Travelers And Aliens

Listen, folks, if you can’t trust time travelers and aliens posting on TikTok, really, who can you trust? And those time travelers and aliens are BOTH in agreement that the Pumpkin Cold Brew is far superior to the overhyped Pumpkin Spice Latte. And I agree with them. But aside from that incredibly important information, the aliens and time travelers also agree that this is going to be an astoundingly eventful week for us — especially next Tuesday, when a number of humans are going to win the alien abduction lottery, treating them to fabulous cash and prizes! According to one TikTok... Read More