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Wednesday - March 3, 2021
Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

Rock Island Should Go Back To 3 a.m. Closing For Downtown

March 1st, 2021

Imagine it’s Super Bowl Sunday, pre-covid. You’re in your home, minding your own business, watching TV, having a couple beverages with a number of friends, having a good time. Across the street, you see lights on in your neighbors’ houses. You see cars out front. They have guests too, and all of you are enjoying a weekend night. Suddenly, the evening is split by the flashing lights and squeal of two police cars, and an ambulance in tow, roaring down your street and pulling up to your neighbor’s house. Everyone is looking out the windows to see what’s going on. You all see your neighbor... Read More

Serving Up A Column For People Hungry For Secret Information On Celebrities’ Lives

February 26th, 2021

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Orange juice? Me, too! Coffee? Me, too! Leftover pizza? Me, too! I guess there must be some special bond between us. Something unique. Something real. You know, I haven’t felt this way since I read that Charlize Theron likes to drink Red Bull — just as I do. I hadn’t felt that way since I had read that Sarah Michelle Gellar is a big fan of tiramisu — just as I am. Those revelations were important to me, my sense of identity and my sense of well-being because they gave me a tangible, iron-clad link to someone famous. And that, we all know, is... Read More

If You’re A Human Being Living On Earth, You Need To Read This

February 19th, 2021

Welcome to the column for all carbon-based life-forms. If you breathe oxygen, this is for you. And if you live on a planet, especially Earth, well, then, you’ve come to the right place. Sorry, but I’m just following the new trend in advertising: casting as absurdly wide a net as possible. Products used to be advertised to a fairly specialized base. Each ad could be counted on to pander in its own unique way. You’d have your commercials aimed at seniors, in which someone sincere who was on TV when it was still seen only in black-and-white would give a testimonial about the product. Said commercial... Read More

Morgan Wallen And Gina Carano Stories Highlight Volcanic Divides In Our Society

February 13th, 2021

So, a country music star, Morgan Wallen, is caught on tape using the N word, which is not acceptable. His record company, radio stations, etc. express condemnation of it. Right thing to do. He admits his mistake and is contrite about it, does all the right things under the circumstances and seems sincere. Again, right thing to do. And then… wait for it… wait for it… His record sales SKYROCKET. Now, do I think that suddenly racists were like, “You know what? I need something to listen to in the car, other than Gavin McInnes, so how about that country music... Read More

Remember This If You’re Alone On Valentine’s Day…

February 12th, 2021

“Do you feel as depressed as I do about being single on Valentine’s Day?” A friend of mine messaged me this question the other day, and it got me thinking, “Am I depressed at all about being single this Valentine’s Day?” And it got me answering myself rather quickly, “No. No, I am not depressed at all about being single this Valentine’s Day.” Not in the least. That’s not to say that I’m a cold, heartless bastard with no sense of romance or desire for romantic love or a significant other in my life. But it is to say... Read More

“Why Do You Write About Covid So Much?”

February 11th, 2021

Imagine someone you love. Someone who truly has impacted your life. Someone you can’t imagine life without. Now imagine life without them. Imagine how devastated you would be, how drowned in sadness you would feel. I see people expressing this feeling every day on social media. People who have lost loved ones to covid. Their posts are heartbreaking. They exude sorrow and helplessness, as they struggle against the fact that someone who meant so much to them, who was so much a part of their world, is now gone. Many of these people are older. Many are parents, who were the foundation to their... Read More

Iowans Are Smarter Than ‘Covid Kim,’ And They’re Proving It

February 10th, 2021

Yesterday, I wrote about the moronic decision by Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds to do away with her already minimal efforts to mitigate covid-19 — just as statistics were showing that Iowa is one of the worst, and least safe, states in the country in regard to keeping its citizens covid-free. I’d say her actions were ill-advised, but apparently, Reynolds took no advice in regard to making them. She ignored scientists, healthcare professionals (you know, those people she loves to pose for photo ops with, and hollowly praise as “heroes” while undercutting them with her actions)... Read More

Iowans Need To Ignore `Covid Kim’ And Practice Covid Common Sense

February 9th, 2021

When you allow people with less intelligence and common sense to think for you and inform your decisions, the results are seldom good. And that’s why Iowans — and those traveling through Iowa in the Quad-Cities and throughout the state — need to ignore the abysmal advice of short-sighted Governor Kim Reynolds and trust scientists and their own common sense and good judgement in regard to covid. Over 5,000 people have died in Iowa since the pandemic began, 60 percent of those in the last three months, according to the Iowa Department of Health. Sixty percent. Over the last three... Read More

Three Out Of Five Time Travelers WRONG On Super Bowl

February 7th, 2021

When you can’t trust a random person claiming to be a time traveler on TikTok, really, who CAN you trust? Three out of five alleged time travelers on TikTok claimed that the Kansas City Chiefs were going to win the Super Bowl. And, well, we saw what happened. A romp of 31-9 for the Bucs. Tom Brady dominated the Chiefs and cemented his GOAT status with another Super Bowl ring, disappointing the Kansas City fans, as well as the one or two people who actually believe folks claiming to be time travelers on TikTok. Yes. It’s a sad day when you can’t trust random strangers claiming... Read More

Time Travelers Reveal This Year’s Super Bowl Winner, And It’s…

February 7th, 2021

About half a football field’s throw ago, I wrote a column about an alleged time traveler from the year 2485. I wrote it as a joke, of course, because I can only take time travel so seriously. As a concept, I find it fascinating, as I find all esoteric science and the ilk fascinating, and of course time travel has been proven theoretically possible, so I don’t completely discount it out of hand. However, I also use a generous serving of salt grains when reading about alleged time travelers. And I add limes and tequila. There are plenty of time travelers on TikTok, the social media platform... Read More