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Friday - November 27, 2020
Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

The Next Two Months Will Be Crucial For Getting Our Lives Back. Our Decisions Will Be Crucial To That.

November 23rd, 2020

We all want things to get back to normal as quickly as possible. We look at other countries like Australia and New Zealand and they’re already having big sporting events and concerts and leading normal lives again. I want the same. I want to have my jobs and income fully back, I want to be able to go out and see friends, I want my son and his friends to be able to play soccer games again, I want my friends who own businesses to be able to open them up and keep them open. And that can happen here, but it’s going to take some sacrifice and some work. And now’s the time to... Read More

Caribou Was More Than Just A Coffee Shop, It Was A Part Of A Life Now Gone

November 20th, 2020

We’re all maps of our experiences, our lives a tapestry of our time spent. Every second, every moment of them. Those reflections of paths taken and choices made, big and small, lead to who we are, in ways big and small. Those decisions can be huge – who we decide to love, to marry, to live with. Or they can be small – the places we frequent, the habits we hold, the culture we imbibe. For more than a decade, Caribou Coffee was a huge part of the mural of my life, and my son’s. And while the closing of a coffee shop may seem small in the larger picture of things, it’s still something. Something... Read More

Quit Shaming All The People And Small Business Owners Needing Help During Covid

November 13th, 2020

One person is a man in his seventies, a true entrepreneur who took a massive risk and put in over four decades of long hours to build a business that became a hub of a local downtown. Another person is a middle-aged woman who has been working since she was 16, and, over three decades, has put in countless hours working to build up her own business. And still another person is a younger man, who has also been an entrepreneur, starting up various businesses, who is one of the hardest working people I know. All of these people exemplify what we like to call the American dream. They’re... Read More

It’s Monday, And Here’s The Video You Deserve: The Link Between Two Comedy Legends

November 9th, 2020

It’s Monday. Yeah. We feel you. And so, every Monday, we give you a music video. A fun, funny music video. Something that’ll make you smile, make you laugh, make you reminisce, and make you realize that back in the day, music video creators were probably either insane or heavily intoxicated. But were also incredibly entertaining. We call this feature, The Video You Deserve, and you can find it every Monday on your site for fun, free entertainment and features, QuadCities.com. And today’s video hearkens back to the decade that was basically ruled by one Eddie Murphy. Because Eddie... Read More

Halloween Column Weekend: Is There A Vampire Workout Video?

October 31st, 2020

To celebrate Halloween, I’m dropping multiple columns for your laughs and enjoyment. Hope you all have a happy and safe holiday! Is there a vampire workout video? You hardly ever see any fat vampires. They’re almost invariably beautiful, young (or young-ish) and ripped. Even the evil decrepit old vamps are at least skinny. So, I’m wondering, do vampires only “turn” fit people? Or do people make deals with vamps and tell them, “Hey hey hey… let’s wait a minute here, shall we? Give me six weeks to get into shape, and THEN you can suck out my blood and turn... Read More

Halloween Column Weekend Continues: Do Ghosts Fart?

October 31st, 2020

To celebrate Halloween, I’m dropping multiple columns for your laughs and enjoyment. Hope you all have a happy and safe holiday! Do ghosts fart? Ever walk into your house after you’ve been away, or walk into a room and notice a strange smell? Of course, once you do, you have to try to find it, to try to get rid of it, because who wants a strange smell in their house? I’ll usually look for some dropped food or something behind or under furniture, and sometimes that’s the case. Some bit of stray potable that tried to escape and sadly discovered its motion was limited to whatever got it... Read More

Halloween Column Weekend: Are There Vampire Businesses That Are Open All Night?

October 30th, 2020

To celebrate Halloween, I’m dropping multiple columns for your laughs and enjoyment. Hope you all have a happy and safe holiday! Are there Vampire businesses that are open all night? There are a lot of other businesses that amaze me with their tenacity to stay around. I never see anyone there. There are never any cars outside. They don’t advertise. They don’t seem to be particularly viable. Yet there they are, steadfast, inexplicable. Can these places be potential tax write offs or money laundering enterprises? Or do they have a set of clienteles that I’m not privy to, since... Read More

Halloween Column Weekend Begins: Can Zombies Swim?

October 30th, 2020

To celebrate Halloween, I’m dropping multiple columns for your laughs and enjoyment. Hope you all have a happy and safe holiday! It’s Halloween weekend, and along with the tricks and treats, and little goblins and ghouls, there are other things that haunt me. Questions. Queries. Imaginings. Like bumps in the night, especially if they’re really freaking loud, these things keep me awake. And so, in the spirit of Halloween, I’m dropping a handful of columns this weekend like bite-sized candies. And our first very important question to be answered is… Can zombies swim? Whenever... Read More

Greatest GIF In History, Featuring Quad-Citian Khalil Hacker Eating Donuts, Brought Into Existence

October 26th, 2020

Possibly the greatest GIF in the history of the young digital artform has been brought into existence and gained sentience. A short captured clip of a ravenous and behatted Khalil Hacker devouring donuts with violent bravado, has been captured for the enjoyment and enlightenment of humanity and the sharing of online residents by one Douglas Kutzli, Esq. Gaze upon its wonder, and marvel at its existence, humanity. In these troubling times, we need a light, a beacon of hope, and this GIF, of young Rock Island man Khalil, eating donuts, could very well be that hope. At least that’s what Morpheus... Read More

Is This Man Really A Time Traveler From The Year 2485???

October 23rd, 2020

There’s been a long history of people claiming to be time travelers. And there’s been an even longer history of people just being full of crap. Oddly enough, the Venn diagram between the two is almost an identical shadow of two circles. Certainly, there are maybe one or two instances that have made me, and others, go “hmmmm.” But most of them have made me, and others, go, “Oh geez, this is friggin’ baloney.” One of the most infamous of these among the bologna category was John Titor. Now, back in the ‘90s and up to the mid-2000s, one of the most famous radio shows in the country... Read More

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