Thursday - September 29, 2022
Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois

QAnon Sept. 24 Conspiracy Will Shock You, But Is It The End Of The World?

September 24th, 2022
QAnon Sept. 24 Conspiracy Will Shock You, But Is It The End Of The World?

I always love it when a batcrap crazy conspiracy theory gets trumped by an even more insane one, and so, imagine my surprise and delight this week. I’d already been getting ready to write about the conspiracy theories surrounding the death of Queen Elizabeth, which included her being a lizard person, her being a clone, her being a body double for the real Queen who was an immortal lizard person who was going to now possess Meghan Markle’s body, and, not to be outdone, that she was assassinated as part of the plot to reinstate Donald Trump as president, known, like an ’80s hair... Read More

Demi Lovato’s Situation Is Not The Same As Other Celebrities’

September 9th, 2022
Demi Lovato's Situation Is Not The Same As Other Celebrities'

People have been joking about Leonardo DiCaprio’s predilection for dating younger women for decades, and apparently, now it’s hit peak ridicule. DiCaprio broke up with his most recent girlfriend right on the eve of her 25th birthday, and, as the folks on the internet do, because they have no lives, they went nuts about it. People were freaking out about the fact that this rich, handsome, famous dude has been consistently dating girls under 25, and, whether intentional or not, keeps breaking up with them as if they have an expiration date at a quarter of a century. It’s strange,... Read More

This New ‘Better Call Saul’ Spinoff Is Going To Shock You!

September 2nd, 2022
This New 'Better Call Saul' Spinoff Is Going To Shock You!

Shocking! Stunning! Amazing! All three of those words would likely accompany any “Better Call Saul” spinoff at this point. With the “Breaking Bad” prequel wrapping things up two weeks ago, with Saul Goodman stuck in jail for 86 years (give or take a few for good behavior), it’s looking like the story of our favorite criminal lawyer is all over with. Or is it? There are actually a lot of possibilities for a “Saul” spinoff. Here are a few I think would work really well: Slippin’ Kimmy: A Kim Wexler spinoff following her as she gets her life back after... Read More

There Will Never Be Another Paula Sands

August 26th, 2022
There Will Never Be Another Paula Sands

A local icon celebrated her 40th anniversary this week. Paula Sands took time out to look back upon four decades at local NBC affiliate KWQC-TV6, a career that’s gone from her being a local-girl-done-good to being a legendary broadcaster, an incredible positive force in our community, and someone who will never be replaced. Certainly there are well-known media figures and other people of note on the local scene, but I’ve always maintained that there’s really only one local celebrity, and that’s Paula Sands. Some people love her, some people like her, some people take issue... Read More

FINALLY! YOU Get To Learn About The Iowa And Illinois Events That Are TOO HOT For TV!

August 19th, 2022
FINALLY! YOU Get To Learn About The Iowa And Illinois Events That Are TOO HOT For TV!

I saw an ad for something on TV recently that said it was “Too hot for TV!!!” Which was interesting, because, as I said, I saw the ad on TV. I wonder where that line is drawn? I mean, where is that particular thermostat that makes something “too hot for TV,” or “too hot for (whatever)?” Dave Chappelle did a comedy bit where he was talking about a podcaster saying he refused to comment on the R. Kelly mess because she claimed that Dave said that it, too, was “too hot for TV!” Dave said that he never said that, and then he made a bunch of jokes about... Read More

What’s Coming Next? More Dire Warnings And Strange News From The Time Traveler From 2714

August 12th, 2022
What's Coming Next? More Dire Warnings And Strange News From The Time Traveler From 2714

CERN got started up again this week, possibly flinging us into another dimension. Voyager went down, screwing over me and several million other crypto investors. And James Caan just died. None of these things were predicted by the Time Traveler from 2714, although that hasn’t stopped him from continuing to make predictions. And, despite his track record being dubious, it hasn’t stopped me, and many others, from being amused and intrigued by his b*llshit posts. As regular readers of this column know, I love reading about time travel, and the predictions of alleged time travelers. And... Read More

Iowa’s Bix Fest Might Be Fading Away, But There Was A Time When His Jazz Was King

August 5th, 2022
Leon Bismark ("Bix") Beiderbecke was born in Davenport in 1903, seen here in 1927.

The Bix Beiderbecke Jazz Festival opens today, running through Sunday at the Rhythm City Casino in Davenport, and, let’s be honest, it’s got an air of stodgy nostalgia to it. The Bix Fest was once a much bigger deal, an outdoor and indoor festival at a number of different venues, featuring bands from all over the world. Now it’s confined to a smaller space, in a smaller venue, one which has a built-in audience of people coming there for gambling and other attractions. If ’80s and ’90s Bix Fest was when it was celebrating its heyday, this is, well, it’s not quite... Read More

FINALLY, A Column For Everyone, Which Will Offend No One… Or WILL It???

July 29th, 2022
FINALLY, A Column For Everyone, Which Will Offend No One... Or WILL It???

We live in a time where people are incredibly easy to offend. Oh, shoot, I’m already on the wrong foot, at 34 percent of the people reading that were offended by my insinuation that they might be offended by that, or that they might be easily offended. Damn! Another 22 percent were just offended by that second paragraph, because they think I’m being sarcastic. Ahhh geez… yet another 19 percent were just offended that I’d even bring up being sarcastic. Ok, let’s start over. Bam! A whopping 28 percent are offended that I’d want to apologize, and another 17 percent... Read More

‘Willy Wonka’ Was a Right Bastard, But He Was Hilarious

July 22nd, 2022
'Willy Wonka' Was a Right Bastard, But He Was Hilarious

Watching the old “Willy Wonka” movie and having the following thoughts… 1. I wonder how much Roald Dahl hated kids because every one of them aside from Charlie is a right little shit. 2. That bed with the grandparents in it has to house the worst smell in the known universe. I do not envy Charlie and his Mom for having to clean that horrible miasma up. 3. The movie is really kind of racist when you think about it. The entire world allegedly has a shot at golden tickets, both adults and children, and a bunch of white kids get them, but what’s more, when the one child of color... Read More

‘Top Gun: Maverick’ Jet Fuels More Conspiracy Theories About Tom Cruise And His Fake Butt

July 15th, 2022
'Top Gun: Maverick' Jet Fuels More Conspiracy Theories About Tom Cruise And His Fake Butt

Hollywood was abuzz this week as Tom Cruise’s “Top Gun: Maverick” continued to soar as the biggest box office hit of the year, on its way to almost $700 million worldwide. But as the media overlords distracted you with those numbers, a whole lot of brave journalists, conspiracy theorists and fans of quality marijuana continued to speak THE TRUTH on underground websites about Mr. Cruise — and most importantly, his fake butt. Yes, that’s right, his fake butt. According to many websites, Tom Cruise has a fake butt. This theory has been going on for a good 14 years now,... Read More