One of the most popular columns I’ve ever written was a fun whirl through the predictions of an alleged time traveler from the year 2485. Since it was published last fall, it’s been read by hundreds of thousands of people worldwide. Every day, it gets hundreds, sometimes thousands, of views. When I first wrote it, I had no idea it was going to be so popular. I was just fascinated and amused by this person claiming to be from the future, putting predictions out there on the Internet. If I had known it was going to be so popular, I probably would’ve included a plug for one of my... Read More

When you can’t trust a random person claiming to be a time traveler on TikTok, really, who CAN you trust? Three out of five alleged time travelers on TikTok claimed that the Kansas City Chiefs were going to win the Super Bowl. And, well, we saw what happened. A romp of 31-9 for the Bucs. Tom Brady dominated the Chiefs and cemented his GOAT status with another Super Bowl ring, disappointing the Kansas City fans, as well as the one or two people who actually believe folks claiming to be time travelers on TikTok. Yes. It’s a sad day when you can’t trust random strangers claiming... Read More

About half a football field’s throw ago, I wrote a column about an alleged time traveler from the year 2485. I wrote it as a joke, of course, because I can only take time travel so seriously. As a concept, I find it fascinating, as I find all esoteric science and the ilk fascinating, and of course time travel has been proven theoretically possible, so I don’t completely discount it out of hand. However, I also use a generous serving of salt grains when reading about alleged time travelers. And I add limes and tequila. There are plenty of time travelers on TikTok, the social media platform... Read More

I hope you’re stocked up on pizza rolls and champagne! Because a HUGE WORLD EVENT is going to happen TOMORROW. How do I know? A time traveler told me. Yup, that’s right. A time traveler. No, I haven’t been out to the Milan dispensary this morning, I’m talking about a person calling themselves @thatonetimetraveler on TikTok, who claims to be from the year 2485, where their company, Aura, has built the first functioning time machine. The time traveler, who also claims to be human and from the planet Vadho (you know, where Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion built that house),... Read More

There’s been a long history of people claiming to be time travelers. And there’s been an even longer history of people just being full of crap. Oddly enough, the Venn diagram between the two is almost an identical shadow of two circles. Certainly, there are maybe one or two instances that have made me, and others, go “hmmmm.” But most of them have made me, and others, go, “Oh geez, this is friggin’ baloney.” One of the most infamous of these among the bologna category was John Titor. Now, back in the ‘90s and up to the mid-2000s, one of the most famous radio shows in the country... Read More

Stunning evidence of time travel has been discovered in the Quad-Cities! QuadCities.com has uncovered shocking proof that the past version of area performance artist Khalil Hacker (best known for his socially and politically incendiary controversial devouring of donuts on live video) visited the present local man’s residence, slipped seductively into a Star Wars-themed man lingerie, watched a popular Dustin Hoffman movie, made himself some delicious mozzarella sticks (which he then devoured) and then, in a cheeky, brazen act of unmitigated, magnificent audacity, posted about his activities... Read More