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Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

The Time Traveler From 2714 Is Back, And You’re Going To Be Shocked…

January 14th, 2022
The Time Traveler From 2714 Is Back, And You're Going To Be Shocked...

He’s back. And what he’s got to say is going to shock you. Maybe. I guess it depends on your tolerance for shock. Anyway, as regular readers of this column know, I love reading about time travel, and the predictions of alleged time travelers. And while my all-time favorite is the legendary John Titor, one of my current favorites is a guy on TikTok who has gone by various names as he’s morphed his account. Currently he goes by the handle Aery Yormany, @aesthetictimewarper, and as he claims on his page, “I am back, I now travel to the past to unveil the truth.” And you... Read More

It’s Going To Be An Extremely Eventful Week, According To Time Travelers And Aliens

September 3rd, 2021
It's Going To Be An Extremely Eventful Week, According To Time Travelers And Aliens

Listen, folks, if you can’t trust time travelers and aliens posting on TikTok, really, who can you trust? And those time travelers and aliens are BOTH in agreement that the Pumpkin Cold Brew is far superior to the overhyped Pumpkin Spice Latte. And I agree with them. But aside from that incredibly important information, the aliens and time travelers also agree that this is going to be an astoundingly eventful week for us — especially next Tuesday, when a number of humans are going to win the alien abduction lottery, treating them to fabulous cash and prizes! According to one TikTok... Read More

Time Travelers Reveal This Year’s Super Bowl Winner, And It’s…

February 7th, 2021
Time Travelers Reveal This Year's Super Bowl Winner, And It's...

About half a football field’s throw ago, I wrote a column about an alleged time traveler from the year 2485. I wrote it as a joke, of course, because I can only take time travel so seriously. As a concept, I find it fascinating, as I find all esoteric science and the ilk fascinating, and of course time travel has been proven theoretically possible, so I don’t completely discount it out of hand. However, I also use a generous serving of salt grains when reading about alleged time travelers. And I add limes and tequila. There are plenty of time travelers on TikTok, the social media platform... Read More

Is This Man Really A Time Traveler From The Year 2485???

October 23rd, 2020
Is This Man Really A Time Traveler From The Year 2485???

There’s been a long history of people claiming to be time travelers. And there’s been an even longer history of people just being full of crap. Oddly enough, the Venn diagram between the two is almost an identical shadow of two circles. Certainly, there are maybe one or two instances that have made me, and others, go “hmmmm.” But most of them have made me, and others, go, “Oh geez, this is friggin’ baloney.” One of the most infamous of these among the bologna category was John Titor. Now, back in the ‘90s and up to the mid-2000s, one of the most famous radio shows in the country... Read More

Time Traveler Visits Quad-Cities From Past, With Mozz Sticks

April 15th, 2020
Time Traveler Visits Quad-Cities From Past, With Mozz Sticks

Stunning evidence of time travel has been discovered in the Quad-Cities! QuadCities.com has uncovered shocking proof that the past version of area performance artist Khalil Hacker (best known for his socially and politically incendiary controversial devouring of donuts on live video) visited the present local man’s residence, slipped seductively into a Star Wars-themed man lingerie, watched a popular Dustin Hoffman movie, made himself some delicious mozzarella sticks (which he then devoured) and then, in a cheeky, brazen act of unmitigated, magnificent audacity, posted about his activities... Read More