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Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

Taylor Swift Offers More Than ‘Folklore’ About Her Illuminati Ties

July 31st, 2020

Listen, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Wow! Taylor Swift just released a new album! I wonder which ex-boyfriends all her songs are about?” Oh, you naïve child. Taylor Swift’s songs have never been about ex-boyfriends, any more than Planet Ping Pong’s pizza menu has been about pizza. Of course, those of us who aren’t SHEEPLE all know Taylor (I can call her Taylor) has long been a tool of the Illuminati, and her songs have incorporated secret coded metaphors for the takeover of the world. “Blank Space?” About people having their memories erased and reprogrammed... Read More

Forget Kanye, I Am Formally Announcing My 2020 Campaign For President!

July 10th, 2020

Ok, so about 50 percent of you hate Donald Trump. And, about 50 percent of you hate Joe Biden. But, probably about 90 percent of you, whether you like his music or not, think Kanye West is pretty freaking insane. This week, Ye, as the kids like to call him, was more crazy like a fox with the brilliant public relations stunt of announcing he’s going to run for president. Never mind that he hasn’t formally filed to run, and never mind that he’s way past the deadline to do so or be on the ballot in a vast majority of states, so technically, he has no chance. The fact that he announced it at... Read More

THE BEST MUSIC OF 2018!!!

December 31st, 2018

It’s that time of the year again. Time for critics to line up to roll out their “Best of…” lists. And whether it’s TV, movies or music, they all seem to follow a distinct pattern. I’ve done these lists for years, and it wasn’t until the last few calendar turns that I stepped back from doing them, basically because I got bored with it. Until this year. This year, I’m stepping back into the fray, to deliver a list of THE BEST MUSIC OF THE YEAR. THE BEST!!! And here it is, THE BEST MUSIC OF 2018!!! 10.) album recorded by a hygiene-challenged, agoraphobic shut-in that sounds like The... Read More

Sean Leary’s Big Speech Ready To Roll Into The RNC

July 21st, 2016

By now, I’m sure all of you have heard about the controversy surrounding Melania Trump’s speech at the Republican National Convention, which, as countless memes and articles have pointed out, bears something of a more than passing resemblance to a Michelle Obama speech from some year that I don’t feel like Googling right now. But, Melania, stay sweet, girl. I feel you. Tonight, I will give my speech at the Republican National Convention. I know, I know, you might not have heard about this. Perhaps this is because the Trump people or the RNC have wanted to keep my appearance hush-hush, perhaps... Read More

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