How many times do we have to flirt with disaster? How many times does God have to shake his head at us and wonder why we do stupid things? How many times do our scientists have to mess around with something potentially deadly and awful, in the ostensible name of doing something good, knowing full well that it could go very, very, wrong? Well, hot off of reports that there may have been a cover-up of Terminator-like robots killing a bunch of scientists in Japan, we’ve got the news that scientists at The Chinese University of Hong Kong have designed human-shaped robots made of liquid metal, just... Read More

Sure, some of Taylor Swift’s exes might call her Satan. But what if they’re partially right? What if the pop singer isn’t Satan itself, but IS a clone of a Satanic priestess? For quite a while, there have been rumors about Taylor Swift and her alleged connection with the Illuminati. In fact, her album “Folklore” is allegedly not just about her membership in the Illuminati, but her behind-the-scenes relationship with a fellow Illuminati clone of JFK Jr. (Yup, the same JFK Jr. who Q-Anon keeps insisting is going to come back to claim the presidency after Donald Trump reclaims the presidency... Read More

It’s the latest intriguing conspiracy theory sweeping social media and TikTok: Did terminator robots driven by AI kill 29 Japanese scientists and is it being covered up? According to a 2017 report by famous conspiracy researcher Linda Moulton Howe, one of her confidential sources told her that Japanese scientists had been working to develop an army of killer robots run by an artificial intelligence. However, as it is wont to do, the AI rebelled against the scientists who had created it, and as a result, four of the killer robots ended up slaying 29 Japanese scientists before the remaining... Read More

I used up almost all my sister’s voicemail the other day. It couldn’t be avoided. There was something of vital importance I had to share with her. Taco’s “Puttin’ on the Ritz” was on the radio and the event had to be recorded for posterity. Especially the part where the robotic voice says “super duper.” You get the feeling that’s the part where the producers were trying not to cackle in Taco’s face. I’m a sick man, I know. But what afflicts me is a malady that most of us share — a love of cheesy pop songs. Not bad pop songs,... Read More

It’s the end of the year as we know it, and, so far, we feel fine. But will we still feel fine in 2023??? The Time Traveler from 2714 knows! Or, well, pretends that he knows! The Time Traveler from 2714 is back on TikTok, and is back making predictions for the new year. And, despite his track record being dubious, it hasn’t stopped me, and many others, from being amused and intrigued by his b*llshit posts. As regular readers of this column know, I love reading about time travel, and the predictions of alleged time travelers. And while my all-time favorite is the legendary John Titor,... Read More

Here it is two days before Christmas, which means we’re almost to the end of the pestilent parade of inane Christmas specials. Every year it’s the same old story. The shows can be broken up into the usual categories: Roaming bands of has-beens, never-beens and sometime-before-the-Stone-Age-beens hit the screen to mangle the Christmas songs we know and love. “And now, I’d like to introduce a dear, dear friend of mine, Mario Lopez, who will sing `Silent Night.’ AAARRGGHHH!” Quirky, one-hour dramas have cutesy, dumb episodes about vagrants named Kris Kringle... Read More

Ticketmaster gouging fans with outrageous fees and charges. The biggest touring act in the world fed up with them. Fans sick and tired of being ripped off. New news? Hardly. Just the same old broken record called “history may not repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.” Throughout the last couple of weeks, the latest thing that people were griping about on social media was the cluster of trying to get Taylor Swift tickets.Now, depending on what story you see and what side is writing it (welcome to modern journalism, where the facts never get in the way of an agenda), the fault for people... Read More

You don’t have to be a saint to do something that has a profound effect on history, and the world around you. Sometimes you just have to be a regular person who gives a damn. After all, consider the case of Bob Geldof. Back in 1984, Geldof, a pop star on the shady side of his career, was eating dinner and watching TV. Flashing across the screen were images of people whose problems were far worse than a disintegrating band. On that night was a documentary about the venomous famines that had stricken Africa. Geldof was moved to do something about it. At first, his plans were modest —... Read More

“The Nutcracker.” It’s been a holiday tradition since dinosaurs roamed the earth, which made it really difficult because with their small arms, T-Rex were completely worthless to catch leaping Stegasaurus in those flashy dance routines. Countless generations have grown up attending performances, millions of girls have pirouetted through its choreography and cajillions of people have walked away from its pomp and grandeur with one thought burning in their mind… “Okay, that was really well done, but what the heck was it about?” And this Saturday and Sunday, that tradition will continue,... Read More

Brittney Griner is free. Of course, Griner never should’ve been imprisoned in the first place, thrown into jail for an offense that’s as ridiculous as it is minor in a country that has far greater things to address than minor cannabis possession. But while this is a time for Griner and her loved ones to be celebrating, it’s also a time of incredible hypocrisy for the United States, and many of the politicians grandstanding about her release. Before Joe Biden, Kamala Harris (whose horrible history with imprisoning pot offenders is well documented) or anyone in a position... Read More