There’s a saying, if it quacks like a duck, it swims like a duck, and it looks like a duck, then it’s a duck. So what to make of Balenciaga, the fashion company that has enraged people across the political spectrum this week with a series of disgusting ads which look to promote pedophilia, satanism and child porn? Should we hold them to the standard of if they publish photo shoots that make them look like satanic pedophiles, and they publish subliminal messages referring to demons in their ads then they’re satanic pedophiles, and if they also subtly mention pedophilic court cases and controversial... Read More

Entertainment is a tricky thing. One person’s wholesome fare is another person’s demon-possessed trash. From time to time, I’ll get emails from irate people who are disappointed that I’ve recommended some bit of entertainment they find to be offensive. One of them messaged me about it. Another called me, taking me to task for “leading children down the path of evil.”  How she knew I’d been a tour guide at Disneyland is beyond me.  But nonetheless, this lady wasn’t pleased. “You shouldn’t be telling parents to let their children go to demonic concerts…you... Read More

People magazine shocked the world this week when it announced Chris Evans was the NEW Sexiest Man Alive! As recipient of the honor, he receives a $1,000 scholarship to the People School of Vapid Journalism, a free year’s supply of Turtle Wax, a 1995 Ford Festiva and free refills of his favorite beverage at participating Taco Bell restaurants dining room only. In addition, he will be stalked by a vengeful, shirtless, Andrew Tate, who swears the thing was rigged. Evans is having none of it. He has repeated over and over that he wants to be known as a serious actor, darn it — not... Read More

It finally caught up with me, the jerk. For the last three years, I’ve been dodging covid. I’ve written about it, I’ve known dozens of people who have gotten it, and spent an entire week at home around my son 24/7 while he had it, and throughout it all, I never caught it. Until this week. It hit pretty hard and fast, and unexpectedly. I’m double-vaxxed, although didn’t get boosters, and I’m in pretty good health overall. I don’t have any mitigating factors, no diabetes or anything like that. I also like long walks on the beach, sushi, and good conversations... Read More

Pro Tips On Being Cool To Trick-or-Treaters This Halloween: 1. Whether or not you “believe in” allergies to peanuts, chocolate, or whatever, is irrelevant. Shut the fuck up about it if a kid says they have one. Have a couple different varieties of candy to give out to kids, including Starbursts and Skittles, which I don’t think have any potential allergens in them, and which most kids love anyway. 2. It doesn’t matter if a kid is shy, autistic, quiet or is just rude. Don’t be that douchebag that makes them say “Trick or Treat” or withhold candy until... Read More

Do ghosts fart? Ever walk into your house after you’ve been away, or walk into a room and notice a strange smell? Of course, once you do, you have to try to find it, to try to get rid of it, because who wants a strange smell in their house? I’ll usually look for some dropped food or something behind or under furniture, and sometimes that’s the case. Some bit of stray potable that tried to escape and sadly discovered its motion was limited to whatever got it there in the first place, and then was left, saddened, and chastened, to rot in bitterness and disappointment. It’s like the Brando... Read More

Michael Myers. Jason. Leatherface. Those are three of the most popular Halloween costumes of all time. Although none of them are as frightening as gas prices, which would be the most terrifying costume of all this year. Yes, it’s that time of year again: Oct. 21. Comes around every year after Oct. 20, right before Oct. 22. And, it’s right before Halloween, when everyone is looking for that one-of-a-kind costume that either scares the crap out of everyone, makes everyone smile, or shows off an incredible amount of skin so that when you post selfies on social media, it makes your ex... Read More

Lately, there’s been a lot of talk about trains around the Quad-Cities. There’s long been a push to get a train service between the Quad-Cities and Chicago, which would increase traffic and interaction between the two hubs. It would allow some people to even work in the Windy City while living in the Quad-Cities, as well as increase tourism up and back. There’s also been a lot of talk, and some trepidation, about increased train traffic in downtown Davenport along the river. Many are fearful about increased train activity killing pedestrian traffic and making it difficult for businesses down... Read More

I’ll be curious to see how the rom-com “Ticket to Paradise” does. My prediction? It’s going to FLOP. Yup. I predict a Julie Roberts and George Clooney rom-com is going to FLOP. Why? Recent history. Now, over the past week, we’ve seen the ninnies on the far right and far left vomiting ignorant effluvium from their cakeholes about the movie “Bros.” “Bros,” for those of you who don’t know, is a gay rom-com starring a guy most people have never heard of, Billy Eichner. It was described in one article as a “stunningly real depiction... Read More

Imagine you went out on a date with someone. You went back to their place. You had a couple of drinks. You decided to turn on some Netflix. You asked them what they wanted to watch. They looked you straight in the eye. And they said, “Oh, there’s this great show I’ve been meaning to watch about this guy who raped all these women! It’s a whole mini-series, where they go through all of his attacks in gory detail and show how he raped all of them!” Now, you’d probably get the hell out of there, and there would not be a second date. And justifiably so. So, why are so many people, men and... Read More