I always love it when a batcrap crazy conspiracy theory gets trumped by an even more insane one, and so, imagine my surprise and delight this week. I’d already been getting ready to write about the conspiracy theories surrounding the death of Queen Elizabeth, which included her being a lizard person, her being a clone, her being a body double for the real Queen who was an immortal lizard person who was going to now possess Meghan Markle’s body, and, not to be outdone, that she was assassinated as part of the plot to reinstate Donald Trump as president, known, like an ’80s hair... Read More

First off, I’d like to say this week is my birthday, and because of that, I’m giving myself and all of us, really, the gift that keeps on giving, mostly because it’s posted on the internet and the internet never forgets. No, not a nude picture, but an entertainment column. (I said GIFT, not curse.) Recently, Rolling Stone magazine slapped out another issue counting down the top 500 songs of all time.  (Oddly enough, “Happy Birthday” was not among them.) Yes, yes, it was another transparent attempt to get people like me to write about it and give them more publicity, and darn it if I’m... Read More

They’re baaaaaack. That’s right, the time travelers of TikTok have returned, with more predictions about the future that will probably turn out to be B.S., but are goofy and interesting to read about anyway. The TikTok time travelers are always from different years in the future, but the one thing they have in common is that they believe making TikTok videos is the best way to communicate with the people of our time. Apparently they consider the key decision-makers of our time to be teenagers and people in their early twenties, and middle-aged goofballs like me who are still amused... Read More

Of course, everybody knows the important facts about entertainment today — we’ve got so many terrific magazines to tell us about them — but little is known about the pop culture tales of yesteryear. However, recently I sought to rectify that. I put on my Indiana Jones hat, searched for aged scrolls, dug into dusty tomes and haunted musty libraries looking to bring you the stories you just won’t get anywhere else.  And here they are. Here are the last millenium’s great untold moments in entertainment, in no particular order:   * 1450: Johann Gutenberg invents the... Read More

I used up almost all my sister’s voicemail the other day. It couldn’t be avoided. There was something of vital importance I had to share with her. Taco’s “Puttin’ on the Ritz” was on the radio and the event had to be recorded for posterity. Especially the part where the robotic voice says “super duper.” You get the feeling that’s the part where the producers were trying not to cackle in Taco’s face. I’m a sick man, I know. But what afflicts me is a malady that most of us share — a love of cheesy pop songs. Not bad pop songs,... Read More

Hollywood was abuzz this week as Tom Cruise’s “Top Gun: Maverick” continued to soar as the biggest box office hit of the year, on its way to almost $700 million worldwide. But as the media overlords distracted you with those numbers, a whole lot of brave journalists, conspiracy theorists and fans of quality marijuana continued to speak THE TRUTH on underground websites about Mr. Cruise — and most importantly, his fake butt. Yes, that’s right, his fake butt. According to many websites, Tom Cruise has a fake butt. This theory has been going on for a good 14 years now,... Read More

Star Wars is the most popular space saga and most exciting adventure film franchise in the world. It captured the hearts and minds of all ages and created an entire community of its own. And, since partnering with Disney, the force and its popularity has grown and become an even hotter brand. I admittedly can’t call myself a major Star Wars geek but I do admire the films and their rock star entertainment value. I love getting lost in their world and as today is Star Wars Day, I put on the Disney +documentary Empire of Dreams (highly recommended) and decided to rank the existing 11 films. Phantom... Read More

Welcome to the column for all carbon-based life-forms. If you breathe oxygen, this is for you. And if you live on a planet, especially Earth, well, then, you’ve come to the right place. Sorry, but I’m just following the new trend in advertising: casting as absurdly wide a net as possible. Products used to be advertised to a fairly specialized base. Each ad could be counted on to pander in its own unique way. You’d have your commercials aimed at seniors, in which someone sincere who was on TV when it was still seen only in black-and-white would give a testimonial about the product. Said commercial... Read More

I used up almost all my sister’s voicemail the other day. It couldn’t be avoided. There was something of vital importance I had to share with her. Taco’s “Puttin’ on the Ritz” was on the radio and the event had to be recorded for posterity. Especially the part where the robotic voice says “super duper.” You get the feeling that’s the part where the producers were trying not to cackle in Taco’s face. I’m a sick man, I know. But what afflicts me is a malady that most of us share — a love of cheesy pop songs. Not bad pop songs,... Read More

Quad-Cities kids are being invited to have a devil of a time at a new After School Satan Club sponsored by The Satanic Temple of the Quad-Cities. The post-school primer for potentially pointy-horned poindexters was announced through a flyer (not one using bat wings, but one that flew through an almost as demonic device, a copy machine) sent out to students this week, notifying them of a new after school club at Jane Addams (Family?) Elementary in Moline. The flyer proclaims, “Hey kids, let’s have fun at After School Satan Club!” The club promises arts and crafts, science projects,... Read More