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Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

If You Don’t Want Your Kids To Be Lazy, Keep Them Away From This Show

July 2nd, 2021
If You Don't Want Your Kids To Be Lazy, Keep Them Away From This Show

Sean Leary is on vacation. The following is a column from the upcoming book, Sean Leary’s Greatest Hits, vol. 9, coming to bookstores worldwide this summer. Recently, I discovered a show that features some of the biggest dawdlers, layabouts and goldbrickers I’ve ever seen in the history of TV. A show geared toward kids. A show that may be poisoning the work ethic of this country’s youth and undermining our competitiveness in the world economy. That show? “Wonder Pets.” I recently became a father, and as such, I’ve started to acquaint myself with kids’ programming. Little did I... Read More

Got My Second Covid Shot, Only A Matter Of Time Before My Super Powers Activate…

May 28th, 2021
Got My Second Covid Shot, Only A Matter Of Time Before My Super Powers Activate...

Watch out Deadpool. Stand back, Wolverine. Get bent, Superman. It’s only a matter of time now. This week, I got my second covid-19 vaccination shot, and as we ALL know from the research we’ve done on the internet, the alien DNA mixed with the Bill Gates microchip and a secret recipe of nine herbs and spices will soon result in me developing mutant superpowers, in order to fight the Nirons, interdimensional aliens who are due to arrive to conquer earth any moment now. What? You didn’t read that website? Or maybe it was just a TikTok? It’s not entirely out of the realm of... Read More

A Column That John David Will Absolutely Love

April 2nd, 2021
A Column That John David Will Absolutely Love

It’s an odd trend in entertainment and pop culture, but strangely, there are a lot of creative, imaginative and cool creators named John and David. Think about it. Think of all the popular and/or pop culturally influential Johns. John Lennon. John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten). John Belushi. John Cusack. Johnny Depp. John Steinbeck. John Hiatt. John Waters. Johnny Carson. John Mayer. John Grisham. John Fogerty. John Legend. John Mellencamp. Etc. Etc. And then there are the many Davids: David Letterman. Dave Chappelle. Dave Barry. David Mamet. David Lynch. David Fincher. David Byrne. David Sedaris. David... Read More

Advice To A New Teenager

March 26th, 2021
Advice To A New Teenager

It seems like only yesterday when I turned 13. I remember it distinctly, from my party with my friends to some of the gifts I most cherished (a Converse All-Stars Magic Johnson t-shirt, a Duran Duran album, and other things which would certainly date me as a child of the ’80s.) This week, my own son, Jackson, turns 13. And it’s a much, much, different world from when I entered my teen years. I didn’t have cell phones, or the internet, or anywhere near the entertainment or virtual reality options my son does now. I spent most of my time playing outside, my mom was working most... Read More

If You’re A Human Being Living On Earth, You Need To Read This

February 19th, 2021
If You're A Human Being Living On Earth, You Need To Read This

Welcome to the column for all carbon-based life-forms. If you breathe oxygen, this is for you. And if you live on a planet, especially Earth, well, then, you’ve come to the right place. Sorry, but I’m just following the new trend in advertising: casting as absurdly wide a net as possible. Products used to be advertised to a fairly specialized base. Each ad could be counted on to pander in its own unique way. You’d have your commercials aimed at seniors, in which someone sincere who was on TV when it was still seen only in black-and-white would give a testimonial about the product. Said commercial... Read More

This Year Has Sucked Enough, Let People Have Their McRibs And Nickelback

December 18th, 2020
This Year Has Sucked Enough, Let People Have Their McRibs And Nickelback

I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook today, as I am wont to do when I want to incrementally lose faith in humanity, and I stopped briefly on a posting by someone trying to make themselves look far more hip and cool than they actually are. I know, I know, hard to pin that one down when it comes to social media! You’ll never guess who I’m talking about when you’ve got 80 million people to choose from there… Anyway, the person was making a comment about a certain fast food item that some people (not myself, but some people), profoundly enjoy. They post about... Read More

Help Local Artists And The Local Arts Scene, And Brighten Your Life With A New Workshop Series!

December 4th, 2020
Help Local Artists And The Local Arts Scene, And Brighten Your Life With A New Workshop Series!

To say it’s been a difficult year for creators in the local, and national, arts scene is a massive understatement. All of us have lost money, jobs, our careers and found our artistic outlets severely curtailed. Any of us within the live performance and audience interaction area — from live music to theater to book signings — have had our livelihoods completely decimated. One local creator, however, Kristin Bruchmann, is looking to help out. She told me recently, “I’ve been quite concerned about the number of folks in the Q-C arts scene who have lost their livelihoods... Read More

Halloween Column Weekend Continues: Do Ghosts Fart?

October 31st, 2020
Halloween Column Weekend Continues: Do Ghosts Fart?

To celebrate Halloween, I’m dropping multiple columns for your laughs and enjoyment. Hope you all have a happy and safe holiday! Do ghosts fart? Ever walk into your house after you’ve been away, or walk into a room and notice a strange smell? Of course, once you do, you have to try to find it, to try to get rid of it, because who wants a strange smell in their house? I’ll usually look for some dropped food or something behind or under furniture, and sometimes that’s the case. Some bit of stray potable that tried to escape and sadly discovered its motion was limited to whatever got it... Read More

Halloween Column Weekend: Are There Vampire Businesses That Are Open All Night?

October 30th, 2020
Halloween Column Weekend: Are There Vampire Businesses That Are Open All Night?

To celebrate Halloween, I’m dropping multiple columns for your laughs and enjoyment. Hope you all have a happy and safe holiday! Are there Vampire businesses that are open all night? There are a lot of other businesses that amaze me with their tenacity to stay around. I never see anyone there. There are never any cars outside. They don’t advertise. They don’t seem to be particularly viable. Yet there they are, steadfast, inexplicable. Can these places be potential tax write offs or money laundering enterprises? Or do they have a set of clienteles that I’m not privy to, since... Read More

Halloween Column Weekend Begins: Can Zombies Swim?

October 30th, 2020
Halloween Column Weekend Begins: Can Zombies Swim?

To celebrate Halloween, I’m dropping multiple columns for your laughs and enjoyment. Hope you all have a happy and safe holiday! It’s Halloween weekend, and along with the tricks and treats, and little goblins and ghouls, there are other things that haunt me. Questions. Queries. Imaginings. Like bumps in the night, especially if they’re really freaking loud, these things keep me awake. And so, in the spirit of Halloween, I’m dropping a handful of columns this weekend like bite-sized candies. And our first very important question to be answered is… Can zombies swim? Whenever... Read More