Watch out Deadpool. Stand back, Wolverine. Get bent, Superman. It’s only a matter of time now. This week, I got my second covid-19 vaccination shot, and as we ALL know from the research we’ve done on the internet, the alien DNA mixed with the Bill Gates microchip and a secret recipe of nine herbs and spices will soon result in me developing mutant superpowers, in order to fight the Nirons, interdimensional aliens who are due to arrive to conquer earth any moment now. What? You didn’t read that website? Or maybe it was just a TikTok? It’s not entirely out of the realm of... Read More

Between QAnon and the fashion return of flannel and ripped jeans, two of the hottest upcoming trends in pop culture seem to be ’90s nostalgia and the belief in a bizarre conspiracy about celebrities secretly possessed by demons. However, once upon a time, back in The Era of Cellphones The Size Of Bread Loaves, there was a celebrity who actually admitted that yes, he was once possessed by demons, although he was also cured. Odd? Odd, but true. The Lord may work in mysterious ways, but the the way the devil works is obviously just plain strange.  For example, God has been known to communicate... Read More

Katy Perry didn’t just kiss a girl and liked it, she faked her own death apparently and liked that too. And why the hell not? Everyone needs a hobby. As we thankfully roll into the last quarter of this craptastic year, the conspiracy theories just keep getting weirder and weirder. Some of them are pretty harmless and dumb, like people questioning whether Netflix conspired with China to create the Coronavirus (It was that bitch Carole Baskin, idiots! Geez!), and others are more along the dangerous and irresponsible side, like, ya know, certain print publications running cover stories telling... Read More

Listen, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Wow! Taylor Swift just released a new album! I wonder which ex-boyfriends all her songs are about?” Oh, you naïve child. Taylor Swift’s songs have never been about ex-boyfriends, any more than Planet Ping Pong’s pizza menu has been about pizza. Of course, those of us who aren’t SHEEPLE all know Taylor (I can call her Taylor) has long been a tool of the Illuminati, and her songs have incorporated secret coded metaphors for the takeover of the world. “Blank Space?” About people having their memories erased and reprogrammed... Read More