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Thursday - December 1, 2022
Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

My Weddings To Brittney And Olivia Munn, And Why Oprah Is Alone On Valentine’s Day

February 11th, 2022
My Weddings To Brittney And Olivia Munn, And Why Oprah Is Alone On Valentine's Day

“Do you feel as depressed as I do about being single on Valentine’s Day?” A friend of mine, named Oprah, messaged me this question the other day, and it got me thinking, “Man, whatever happened to Carolina Liar? That song ‘Show Me What I’m Looking For’ was pretty friggin awesome!” Oh, yeah, also, it got me thinking, “Am I depressed at all about being single this Valentine’s Day?” And it got me answering myself rather quickly, “No. No, I am not depressed at all about being single this Valentine’s Day.” Not... Read More

Oh, For Christ’s Sake, Just Let People Have Their McRibs And Be Happy In This Crap Show Year

November 26th, 2021
Oh, For Christ's Sake, Just Let People Have Their McRibs And Be Happy In This Crap Show Year

I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook today, as I am wont to do when I want to incrementally lose faith in humanity, and I stopped briefly on a posting by someone trying to make themselves look far more hip and cool than they actually are. I know, I know, hard to pin that one down when it comes to social media! You’ll never guess who I’m talking about when you’ve got 80 million people to choose from there… Anyway, the person was making a comment about a certain fast food item that some people profoundly enjoy. They post about it. They revel in its return. They write with glee... Read More

Just What Exactly Is ‘The Black Eye Club,’ And Why Are So Many Celebrities A Part Of It?

August 6th, 2021
Just What Exactly Is 'The Black Eye Club,' And Why Are So Many Celebrities A Part Of It?

How many people do you know who currently have black eyes? How many people in the past year have you seen who have had black eyes? Just in general, how many people can you remember having black eyes in your life over the past year, two years, five years, ten years? Unless you’re a boxer, you train in MMA, or you run an underground fight club (damn! I wasn’t supposed to talk about that!), you probably don’t see many, if any, folks with black eyes running around. Heck, I trained in karate, boxing, tae kwan do, and muy thai kickboxing over the course of about about 20 years, and... Read More

Khalil’s Christmas Special Is The Holiday Special YOU NEED This Weekend.

December 18th, 2020
Khalil's Christmas Special Is The Holiday Special YOU NEED This Weekend.

It’s been a rough year, honchos. So, damn it, you OWE IT to yourself to check out Khalil’s Christmas Special, sponsored by QuadCities.com. Yes. You OWE it to yourself. Khalil’s Covid Christmas Special premieres December 20, and will be a Christmas Special for the ages! Join your hosts, Khalil Hacker and Tristan Tapscott as they wrap up this dumpster fire year the only way they know how… with a Christmas special! Filled with surprise guest stars, a fruit cake eating contest and many laughs! Shot safely in the beautiful Renwick Mansion of Davenport Iowa! Sit back, poor some... Read More

Quad-Cities Actor/Musician Doug Kutzli Given Incredible Honor Of Being Named A Donut Near You

October 26th, 2020
Quad-Cities Actor/Musician Doug Kutzli Given Incredible Honor Of Being Named A Donut Near You

There are awards, and there are VERY SPECIAL awards. Honors, even. And this weekend, Quad-Cities actor/musician/bon vivant Doug Kutzli was verily bestowed with one of the greatest honors that could be graced upon a local performer. Upon a search for “donuts near you,” Mr. Kutzli’s performer page came up, thus putting him in rarified company as the ONLY Quad-Cities entertainer thus dubbed as AN OFFICIAL DONUT NEAR YOU. This is the first time any local entertainer has come close to gaining such a status since actor, singer, and cocksman Russell Lee was handed the Aunt Connie’s... Read More

Is Katy Perry Hiding A REALLY Big Secret?

August 28th, 2020
Is Katy Perry Hiding A REALLY Big Secret?

Katy Perry didn’t just kiss a girl and liked it, she faked her own death apparently and liked that too. And why the hell not? Everyone needs a hobby. As we thankfully roll into the last quarter of this craptastic year, the conspiracy theories just keep getting weirder and weirder. Some of them are pretty harmless and dumb, like people questioning whether Netflix conspired with China to create the Coronavirus (It was that bitch Carole Baskin, idiots! Geez!), and others are more along the dangerous and irresponsible side, like, ya know, certain print publications running cover stories telling... Read More

Forget Q-Anon, It’s Time To Go Down The Rabbit Hole To Discover A New Conspiracy Hero, S-Anon

July 17th, 2020
Forget Q-Anon, It's Time To Go Down The Rabbit Hole To Discover A New Conspiracy Hero, S-Anon

Listen, I’m not going to say that Kanye West dropped out of the race for President of the United States just because I announced I was running. After all, I’m writing this, not reading it out loud. But I do find it coincidental that after I announced I was running for president last Friday, within days, Kanye suddenly dropped his 2020 campaign. Hmmm. Suspicious. Kind of like a lot of other behavior by famous folks lately. Perhaps you’ve been hearing about some of it. Certain big-name celebrities have been shockingly AWOL the past few months. Tom Hanks. Ellen DeGeneres. Pauly Shore. All of... Read More

#Graduation2020: Facebook and Instagram Celebrate the Class of 2020

May 13th, 2020
#Graduation2020: Facebook and Instagram Celebrate the Class of 2020

When schools were shut down recently, many students found themselves saying goodbye to the idea of in-person gatherings, extracurricular activities and what they knew as a ‘normal’ end to their school year, all together. But some of those students were saying goodbye to graduation ceremonies, diploma handoffs and parties they’ve waited their entire lives for. For the past four years, these young adults have worked towards one special day. Graduation. The Class of 2020 will go down in history as one of the most adaptable graduating classes of our time. They are experiencing one of life’s... Read More

Honest Abe! Area Lemon Bread Looks Remarkably Like President Lincoln

August 22nd, 2019
Honest Abe! Area Lemon Bread Looks Remarkably Like President Lincoln

BREAKING NEWS: Four score and seven scones ago… an area breakfast consumer’s lemon poppy seed loaf has been discovered to look remarkably like the 16th president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. Honest! The sweet treat, emancipating one fortunate breakfast seeker from hunger this morning, was spared mid-nosh by the imbiber, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of enormous jealousy on the part of anyone whose breakfast did not resemble one of the greatest leaders this country has ever known. “It’s a good thing,” the unidentified area man said, “I was... Read More