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Saturday - November 28, 2020
Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

Quad-Cities Actor/Musician Doug Kutzli Given Incredible Honor Of Being Named A Donut Near You

October 26th, 2020

There are awards, and there are VERY SPECIAL awards. Honors, even. And this weekend, Quad-Cities actor/musician/bon vivant Doug Kutzli was verily bestowed with one of the greatest honors that could be graced upon a local performer. Upon a search for “donuts near you,” Mr. Kutzli’s performer page came up, thus putting him in rarified company as the ONLY Quad-Cities entertainer thus dubbed as AN OFFICIAL DONUT NEAR YOU. This is the first time any local entertainer has come close to gaining such a status since actor, singer, and cocksman Russell Lee was handed the Aunt Connie’s... Read More

Is Katy Perry Hiding A REALLY Big Secret?

August 28th, 2020

Katy Perry didn’t just kiss a girl and liked it, she faked her own death apparently and liked that too. And why the hell not? Everyone needs a hobby. As we thankfully roll into the last quarter of this craptastic year, the conspiracy theories just keep getting weirder and weirder. Some of them are pretty harmless and dumb, like people questioning whether Netflix conspired with China to create the Coronavirus (It was that bitch Carole Baskin, idiots! Geez!), and others are more along the dangerous and irresponsible side, like, ya know, certain print publications running cover stories telling... Read More

Forget Q-Anon, It’s Time To Go Down The Rabbit Hole To Discover A New Conspiracy Hero, S-Anon

July 17th, 2020

Listen, I’m not going to say that Kanye West dropped out of the race for President of the United States just because I announced I was running. After all, I’m writing this, not reading it out loud. But I do find it coincidental that after I announced I was running for president last Friday, within days, Kanye suddenly dropped his 2020 campaign. Hmmm. Suspicious. Kind of like a lot of other behavior by famous folks lately. Perhaps you’ve been hearing about some of it. Certain big-name celebrities have been shockingly AWOL the past few months. Tom Hanks. Ellen DeGeneres. Pauly Shore. All of... Read More

#Graduation2020: Facebook and Instagram Celebrate the Class of 2020

May 13th, 2020

When schools were shut down recently, many students found themselves saying goodbye to the idea of in-person gatherings, extracurricular activities and what they knew as a ‘normal’ end to their school year, all together. But some of those students were saying goodbye to graduation ceremonies, diploma handoffs and parties they’ve waited their entire lives for. For the past four years, these young adults have worked towards one special day. Graduation. The Class of 2020 will go down in history as one of the most adaptable graduating classes of our time. They are experiencing one of life’s... Read More

Honest Abe! Area Lemon Bread Looks Remarkably Like President Lincoln

August 22nd, 2019

BREAKING NEWS: Four score and seven scones ago… an area breakfast consumer’s lemon poppy seed loaf has been discovered to look remarkably like the 16th president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. Honest! The sweet treat, emancipating one fortunate breakfast seeker from hunger this morning, was spared mid-nosh by the imbiber, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of enormous jealousy on the part of anyone whose breakfast did not resemble one of the greatest leaders this country has ever known. “It’s a good thing,” the unidentified area man said, “I was... Read More

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