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Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

If You’re A Human Being Living On Earth, You Need To Read This

February 19th, 2021
If You're A Human Being Living On Earth, You Need To Read This

Welcome to the column for all carbon-based life-forms. If you breathe oxygen, this is for you. And if you live on a planet, especially Earth, well, then, you’ve come to the right place. Sorry, but I’m just following the new trend in advertising: casting as absurdly wide a net as possible. Products used to be advertised to a fairly specialized base. Each ad could be counted on to pander in its own unique way. You’d have your commercials aimed at seniors, in which someone sincere who was on TV when it was still seen only in black-and-white would give a testimonial about the product. Said commercial... Read More

FINALLY, An Answer To The Eternal Question: Do Ghosts Fart?

April 26th, 2018
FINALLY, An Answer To The Eternal Question: Do Ghosts Fart?

The following column is excerpted from Sean Leary’s upcoming humor book, Do Vampires Poop? And Other Incredibly Important Questions, available in bookstores worldwide in September. By Sean Leary Ever walk into your house after you’ve been away, or walk into a room and notice a strange smell? Of course, once you do, you have to try to find it, because who wants a strange smell in their house? I’ll usually look for some dropped food or something behind or under furniture, and sometimes that’s the case. Some bit of stray potable that tried to escape and sadly discovered its motion was limited... Read More

Do Ghosts Fart?

August 17th, 2017
Sean Leary

The following column is excerpted from Sean Leary’s upcoming humor book, Do Vampires Poop? And Other Incredibly Important Questions, available in bookstores worldwide in September. Ever walk into your house after you’ve been away, or walk into a room and notice a strange smell? Of course, once you do, you have to try to find it, because who wants a strange smell in their house? I’ll usually look for some dropped food or something behind or under furniture, and sometimes that’s the case. Some bit of stray potable that tried to escape and sadly discovered its motion was limited to whatever... Read More

Keggers And Eggers: The Events That Just Don’t Make The Calendar Cut

June 28th, 2017
Sean Leary

Every week, we provide you with a huge calendar of activities that will take place in the Quad-Cities area over the coming week. Because we love you. And because it’s our job … to love you. (The preceding sentence was written in tribute to the late Luther Vandross.) However, some calendar items we receive don’t make the list. Some are out of the geographic area. Some aren’t really entertainment. And some … well, some just don’t seem to fit in, if you know what I mean. For those of you who don’t know what I mean, I thought I’d provide a few examples.... Read More