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Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

A**-Kicking ‘Deadpool 2’ Is F***in’ Awesome

May 19th, 2018
A**-Kicking ‘Deadpool 2’ Is F***in’ Awesome

If you’re anywhere near remotely offended by the implied asterisks in that headline, you should stay far away from “Deadpool 2,” a raunchy, hilarious and absolutely brilliant thrill-ride of a movie which rivals and in many ways surpasses the first film and likewise rivals and largely surpasses anything else in the Marvel film canon. “Deadpool 2” is riotously funny and stylish, action-packed and wonderfully executed. In fact, it’s so good that once it was over, I couldn’t wait to see it again. And I’m not just saying that because Ryan Reynolds sent me a check in the mail along with... Read More

Why Do So Many Blues Musicians Have The Nickname “Little?”

May 17th, 2018
Why Do So Many Blues Musicians Have The Nickname “Little?”

You’ve heard the expression, ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. Well, ask several stupid questions, and get several stupider answers. Case in point: Q: Why do so many blues musicians, like Little Milton, etc., have the nickname “Little?” A: Because many blues musicians are descended from Oompa-Loompas. Blues music actually began with Oompa chocolate workers singing improvised spirituals bemoaning the harsh, sweatshop-like conditions in Willy Wonka’s factory, or as many of the Loopa bluesmen tagged it, “Stickyfingers Hell.” Some of the early pioneers of the artform, Little Willy... Read More

The Secret To Great School Pictures? Buttcheeks.

May 10th, 2018
The Secret To Great School Pictures? Buttcheeks.

It’s that time of year again, and if you have kids in elementary school, you know exactly what I mean. School pictures time. That’s right, that time when you get your kids all dressed up and tidied up and get their hair looking perfect and their outfits looking spot on and send them to school, and then six or eight weeks later you get a packet of pictures that features a child that looks fantastic, but has a look on his or her face somewhere between fear, disinterest and a desperate need to pee. I’ve been pretty lucky over the years in that my 10-year-old’s pictures have been pretty good. ... Read More

Can You Really Become Addicted To Videogames

May 6th, 2018
Can You Really Become Addicted To Videogames

“Fortnite.” “Overwatch.” “God Of War.” Know anyone who plays those games? Know people who say, or demonstrate by their actions, that they’re “addicted” to those games? Think they’re exaggerating? They might not be. It sounds like a sci-fi scenario, but from a logical standpoint, you could become addicted to video games. Much like anything else addicting, all it would require would be repetitive stimulation of the right portions of the brain, creating a psychological and physiological need. And given the practice of playing video games,... Read More

FINALLY, An Answer To The Eternal Question: Do Ghosts Fart?

April 26th, 2018
FINALLY, An Answer To The Eternal Question: Do Ghosts Fart?

The following column is excerpted from Sean Leary’s upcoming humor book, Do Vampires Poop? And Other Incredibly Important Questions, available in bookstores worldwide in September. By Sean Leary Ever walk into your house after you’ve been away, or walk into a room and notice a strange smell? Of course, once you do, you have to try to find it, because who wants a strange smell in their house? I’ll usually look for some dropped food or something behind or under furniture, and sometimes that’s the case. Some bit of stray potable that tried to escape and sadly discovered its motion was limited... Read More

Did Alice From ‘The Brady Bunch’ Lose A Bet?

April 19th, 2018
Did Alice From ‘The Brady Bunch’ Lose A Bet?

Recently, I spent a day laid up in bed, sick, with Gatorade and a TV remote as props to pass the time. Flipping beyond the deluge of courtroom and self-help shows I found a real blast from the past. “The Brady Bunch.” I didn’t even realize old episodes of “The Brady Bunch” were still airing. When I was a kid, my siblings and I used to watch re-runs and make fun of them. But it’s been a long time since I’d seen it on TV. I figured it had been superseded by shows like “Saved By The Bell,” “Family Matters” and “Full House”... Read More

Taking A Chainsaw To Chain E-Mails And Strange Friend Requests

April 17th, 2018
Taking A Chainsaw To Chain E-Mails And Strange Friend Requests

Sierra, I’m sorry. Call me several times burned and now shy, but I must reject your offer of friendship. Unfortunately, the same goes for you, Pat and Carole, and you, Ashlee, and, sadly, Stephanie and Katrina as well. And Gaston, don’t even go there. Now, I understand, you’ve tried contacting me via facebook friend requests, message requests and e-mail a number of times. I see your messages, with their pert subject lines — “hello!” “Someone wants to meet you” and who can forget “Want to come play tonight?” I admit, you are nothing if... Read More

I Really Question The WonderPets’ Work Ethic

March 29th, 2018
I Really Question The WonderPets’ Work Ethic

Recently, I discovered a show that features some of the biggest dawdlers, layabouts and goldbrickers I’ve ever seen in the history of TV. A show geared toward kids. A show that may be poisoning the work ethic of this country’s youth and undermining our competitiveness in the world economy. That show? “Wonder Pets.” I recently became a father, and as such, I’ve started to acquaint myself with kids’ programming. Little did I know I’d find this hotbed of slackerdom. Now, for those of you who haven’t seen the show, let me describe it to you quickly:... Read More

THE BEST MUSIC OF 2017!!!

January 4th, 2018
THE BEST MUSIC OF 2017!!!

It’s that time of year again, when every critic rolls out his or her best of for the last 365 days, in hopes of turning other people on to new music and showing off their own music tastes to the world, particularly other critics, who we all desperately try to one-up in our selections. And of course, I’m no different. So here are my picks for THE BEST MUSIC OF 2017!!!! 10.) album recorded by a hygiene-challenged, agoraphobic shut-in that sounds like The Beach Boys recorded in his parents’ basement on an eight track and a player piano. 9.) precocious, wildly hyped all-female British New-punk... Read More

New Years Resolution: To Find The Vampire Workout Video

January 1st, 2018
New Years Resolution: To Find The Vampire Workout Video

It’s the end of one year and the beginning of the next, which means that everyone is lining up their goals and resolutions to ignore and feel guilty about in the next 365 days or so. Most of those goals will involve some sort of fitness regimen or losing weight, getting in shape or dieting. Or some combination of all of the above. Me? I’m right there with you. But I’m taking it one step beyond. My goal is to find the vampire workout video. That’s right, the vampire workout video. Hear me out. You hardly ever see any fat vampires. They’re almost invariably beautiful, young (or young-ish)... Read More