I hope you’re stocked up on pizza rolls and champagne!

Because a HUGE WORLD EVENT is going to happen TOMORROW.

How do I know?

A time traveler told me.

Yup, that’s right.

A time traveler.

No, I haven’t been out to the Milan dispensary this morning, I’m talking about a person calling themselves @thatonetimetraveler on TikTok, who claims to be from the year 2485, where their company, Aura, has built the first functioning time machine.

The time traveler, who also claims to be human and from the planet Vadho (you know, where Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion built that house), has been posting on TikTok for several months, and one of the things they’ve posted repeatedly is that something HUGE is going to happen on Jan. 2, 2021, which is a “very good and exciting day for humanity.”

So, you’re saying we’re FINALLY going to get another Psy record???

Fingers crossed. I really NEED to whoop ’em Gangham Style again, but in a NEW 2021 Gangham Style. Yocha keeps trolling me about only whooping 2019 style.

Here are some other things of interest that @thatonetimetraveler has also opined on:

The monoliths that were appearing around the world throughout the fall have no meaning and were installed by humans who were using them as a joke and a publicity stunt. (I agree. I think it was the Burger King.)

In 2021, a group of people are going to discover a bunker from around 600 years ago that contains blueprints and inventions from our modern time that were apparently brought here more than six centuries ago from beings from another dimension. (Hmmm… iffy. We’ll see… my guess is that they discover a bunker from 40 years ago that has a bunch of old Playboys in it, and an unopened can of Hamms…)

On July 9, 2025 the biggest hurricane ever starts up the East Coast. (THIS is a startling prediction? Bring your A game, time traveler! Tell us that it gets started when Godzilla farts or something!)

In 2026, forest fires become a huge threat to humanity, starting May 18 in Australia. (This one is not exactly a daring prediction; I can see that happening already, because nobody listens to Smokey the Bear anymore. Bastards.)

On Oct. 11, 2029 a gigantic planet explodes and is able to be observed from earth. (Again, not exactly daring here, dudeski. Telescopes on earth can see explosions throughout the universe all the time. BFD… c’mon, let’s bring some thunder here…)

In 2037, a dinosaur is going to be discovered in North Dakota, after someone spots it munching on a deer in the middle of the forest. (HERE we go! Now, I can actually see this being potentially true. If you’ve never been out west, to the desert or the forest, you have NO IDEA how vast and uncharted parts of this country — and this world for that matter — actually are. I can totally see there being vestigial beings, whether they’re ancient relatives to dinosaurs or bigfoot or whatever, still being around and so scarce that we hardly ever see them in civilization. And, I mean, really, at this point, can you blame them for wanting to avoid people? You think Bigfoot wants to be getting into fights with people on Facebook over memes?)

An Interdimensional War with aliens called the Nirons is going to start within the next decade, when the Russians fire upon one of their craft. (Thanks a lot, Putin. Jerk.)

I, Sean Leary, am going to become a multimillionaire, critically-acclaimed best-selling author this year. (I completely agree with this, time traveler.)

Anyway, I first wrote about ThatOneTimeTraveler back in October, when he/she/it began posting a number of predictions (one of which was claiming that Donald Trump was going to win the 2020 presidential election, so, ya know, grain of salt on the rest of this stuff.) I find stuff like this to be fascinating, and regardless of whether or not I believe it, I find it to be entertaining. At the very least, I admire the imagination of it, and it’s a fun, escapist distraction.

And honestly, @thatonetimetraveler isn’t the only person claiming to be a time traveler on TikTok, and they’re not even the most popular person claiming to be a time traveler over the past couple of decades.

Probably the most famous person was John Titor, who came to prominence back in the ’90s and ’00s.

Back in those days, one of the most famous radio shows in the country was the Coast To Coast AM Show, hosted by Art Bell.

I used to work the night shift at the newspapers, and so every evening between midnight and 5 a.m. I would listen to Art, who was a fantastic character broadcasting from the middle of the Nevada desert. (Side note: On a cross-country drive, I decided to try to find Art’s studio in Parumph, Nevada, and it really IS in the middle of freakin’ nowhere.) Bell would host shows about UFOs and ghosts and werewolves and, of course, time travelers, which were one of his favorite topics.

In fact, Bell was so into the whole time travel idea that he would, from time to time (pun intended) open up a phone line specifically for time travelers.

During many Bell shows, he dove into the stories of a mysterious character claiming his name was John Titor, which was actually a name thought to be short for “John TimeTraveler” that was used on several bulletin boards during 2000 and 2001 by a poster claiming to be an American military time traveler from 2036.

Titor made several incredible claims, including that he was here to help save the world from the Y2K bug, and that he was here to warn us

John Titor’s alleged time travel device. Also makes toast and can chop onions like a charm!

about several calamities, including a nuclear war, mass famines, and Nickelback.

Of course, none of them came true (other than Nickelback), and evidence was later discovered that the whole Titor thing was probably an elaborate hoax. Probably by the manager of Nickelback.

In all likelihood, @thatonetimetraveler is probably doing the same thing. I mean, c’mon now, the manager of Nickelback probably has a lot of time on his hands.

But, honestly, who cares?

They’re not really hurting anyone, other than people goofy enough to go overboard in taking them seriously (and let’s face it, if you’re taking a time traveler on TikTok seriously, you probably have far bigger issues to deal with) and at least the person is entertaining.

So, what do you think?

I guess we’ll find out.

And as a time traveler myself, albeit one who only travels to the future one second at a time, I’m going to predict that THIS is what we’re going to find out tomorrow

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Sean Leary is an author, director, artist, musician, producer and entrepreneur who has been writing professionally since debuting at age 11 in the pages of the Comics Buyers Guide. An honors graduate of the University of Southern California masters program, he has written over 50 books including the best-sellers The Arimathean, Every Number is Lucky to Someone and We Are All Characters.