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Monday - April 19, 2021
Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

Forget QAnon, Let’s Recall The ’90s Celebrity Who Admitted To Being Possessed By The Devil

February 5th, 2021

Between QAnon and the fashion return of flannel and ripped jeans, two of the hottest upcoming trends in pop culture seem to be ’90s nostalgia and the belief in a bizarre conspiracy about celebrities secretly possessed by demons. However, once upon a time, back in The Era of Cellphones The Size Of Bread Loaves, there was a celebrity who actually admitted that yes, he was once possessed by demons, although he was also cured. Odd? Odd, but true. The Lord may work in mysterious ways, but the the way the devil works is obviously just plain strange.  For example, God has been known to communicate... Read More

Is Something HUGE Happening TOMORROW? This TIME TRAVELER FROM 2485 Says So…

January 1st, 2021

I hope you’re stocked up on pizza rolls and champagne! Because a HUGE WORLD EVENT is going to happen TOMORROW. How do I know? A time traveler told me. Yup, that’s right. A time traveler. No, I haven’t been out to the Milan dispensary this morning, I’m talking about a person calling themselves @thatonetimetraveler on TikTok, who claims to be from the year 2485, where their company, Aura, has built the first functioning time machine. The time traveler, who also claims to be human and from the planet Vadho (you know, where Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion built that house),... Read More

Time Traveler Visits Quad-Cities From Past, With Mozz Sticks

April 15th, 2020

Stunning evidence of time travel has been discovered in the Quad-Cities! QuadCities.com has uncovered shocking proof that the past version of area performance artist Khalil Hacker (best known for his socially and politically incendiary controversial devouring of donuts on live video) visited the present local man’s residence, slipped seductively into a Star Wars-themed man lingerie, watched a popular Dustin Hoffman movie, made himself some delicious mozzarella sticks (which he then devoured) and then, in a cheeky, brazen act of unmitigated, magnificent audacity, posted about his activities... Read More

Was David Bowie An Alien?

May 31st, 2018

Ever wonder what music made by an extraterrestrial might sound like? Apparently, kind of like this: “Let’s dance put on your red shoes and dance the blues…”   Which, if you play it backwards, sounds like this:   “Dance let’s shoes red your on put blues the dance and laser beam cattle rectums. . . ’’   Amazing how that works, isn’t it? And you thought only Selena Gomez wrote about laser beaming cattle rectums, didn’t you? Little did you know . . . Anyway, of course, the song I’m talking about is “Let’s Dance,” by Alf. Well,... Read More