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Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

Time Travelers Reveal This Year’s Super Bowl Winner, And It’s…

February 7th, 2021

About half a football field’s throw ago, I wrote a column about an alleged time traveler from the year 2485. I wrote it as a joke, of course, because I can only take time travel so seriously. As a concept, I find it fascinating, as I find all esoteric science and the ilk fascinating, and of course time travel has been proven theoretically possible, so I don’t completely discount it out of hand. However, I also use a generous serving of salt grains when reading about alleged time travelers. And I add limes and tequila. There are plenty of time travelers on TikTok, the social media platform... Read More

Forget QAnon, Let’s Recall The ’90s Celebrity Who Admitted To Being Possessed By The Devil

February 5th, 2021

Between QAnon and the fashion return of flannel and ripped jeans, two of the hottest upcoming trends in pop culture seem to be ’90s nostalgia and the belief in a bizarre conspiracy about celebrities secretly possessed by demons. However, once upon a time, back in The Era of Cellphones The Size Of Bread Loaves, there was a celebrity who actually admitted that yes, he was once possessed by demons, although he was also cured. Odd? Odd, but true. The Lord may work in mysterious ways, but the the way the devil works is obviously just plain strange.  For example, God has been known to communicate... Read More

Is Something HUGE Happening TOMORROW? This TIME TRAVELER FROM 2485 Says So…

January 1st, 2021

I hope you’re stocked up on pizza rolls and champagne! Because a HUGE WORLD EVENT is going to happen TOMORROW. How do I know? A time traveler told me. Yup, that’s right. A time traveler. No, I haven’t been out to the Milan dispensary this morning, I’m talking about a person calling themselves @thatonetimetraveler on TikTok, who claims to be from the year 2485, where their company, Aura, has built the first functioning time machine. The time traveler, who also claims to be human and from the planet Vadho (you know, where Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion built that house),... Read More