Honest Abe! Area Lemon Bread Looks Remarkably Like President Lincoln
BREAKING NEWS: Four score and seven scones ago… an area breakfast consumer’s lemon poppy seed loaf has been discovered to look remarkably like the 16th president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln.
The sweet treat, emancipating one fortunate breakfast seeker from hunger this morning, was spared mid-nosh by the imbiber, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of enormous jealousy on the part of anyone whose breakfast did not resemble one of the greatest leaders this country has ever known.
“It’s a good thing,” the unidentified area man said, “I was just about to take a bite of the delicious lemon icing beard when I noticed the morning snack’s uncanny resemblance to the favorite son of Illinois politics. It was all there — the authoritative and sublime top hat, the steely resolve upon Abe’s steel-cut countenance, the flowing beard, the grace, the eloquence… striking.”
The Foods That Look Like Presidents subculture and reddit has been atwitter since the discovery, eating up the news, with many experts saying the Lincoln Lemon Bread is the most impressive presidential potable they’ve relished since the George Washington Bear Claw (discovered in Madison, Wisc. in late 2017), and rivaling the legendary Millard Fillmore Egg McMuffin that toured the country in 2005, even appearing on “Oprah,” before it was tragically crushed by a couch-leaping Tom Cruise.
At press time, the local owner of the presidential pastry was deliberating whether or not to list the item on eBay or contact Daniel Day-Lewis to see if he’d like to add it to his world-famous traveling exhibit of breakfast foods that resemble respected world leaders.
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God bless you, and God bless America.
Sean Leary is an author, director, artist, musician, producer and entrepreneur who has been writing professionally since debuting at age 11 in the pages of the Comics Buyers Guide. An honors graduate of the University of Southern California masters program, he has written over 50 books including the best-sellers The Arimathean, Every Number is Lucky to Someone and We Are All Characters.