Let it be… on ice?

A very strange rumor began to surface late this week that former Beatle Paul McCartney had accepted an invitation to be a VIP to the Quad City Storm’s home opening game this Saturday at 7 p.m. at the TaxSlayer Center, 1201 River Drive, Moline.

According to various reports, hub-bub, gossip and chewing the fat, Paul McCartney is a big hockey fan, and, wanting to check out the TaxSlayer prior to his gig there next summer, he accepted an invitation, replete with many perks, including a nacho bar with a Velveeta cheese river, a case of Natty Light, a hoverboard with ground effects and his name on it, and a black velvet picture of a Valkyrie riding on a Liger fighting a minotaur, and that he was going to be at the game.

Note: Paul McCartney the Beatle, not just a random dude named Paul McCartney.

It certainly sounded implausible, but, stranger things have happened, right?

Right?

Right.

“We can neither confirm nor deny it,” said Tristan Tapscott, Director of the Fan Experience for the Storm on Friday. “We will say we’ve got a lot of really special things planned for the home opener and that people who come out will get to see a lot of entertainment even beyond the hockey game.”

So, will that entertainment include Paul McCartney?

“Can’t say, I guess you’ll have to show up to find out,” Tapscott replied.

What about Ringo Starr?

“Can’t say on that either.”

Astronaut Blake Shelton?

“Who?”

Blake Shelton.

“Never know.”

Gwen Stefani?

“Hmmm, could be?”

What about Taco?

“I could only hope Taco would arrive and sing ‘Puttin’ On The Ritz’ for us. I’ve been trying to book him for months. He’s a hard Taco to crack.”

How about Cooter and the Tang Ticklers?

“That’s definitely a possibility.”

Will they be doing their hit cover of Huey Lewis and the News’ “The Power of Love?”

“If they’re here, how could they not?”

And will there be a fake mustache giveaway in honor of Cooter and the Tang Ticklers?

“Again, how could we not have a fake mustache giveaway if Cooter and the Tang Ticklers arrived here?”

What about Paul McCartney?

“What about him?”

Will you be doing a fake mustache giveaway for Paul McCartney when he’s here?

“We’d consider it.”

How about a fake beard giveaway?

“No, we’re saving that for Tom Cruise.”

Fair enough.

So, McCartney, you’re saying he’s going to be here Saturday night?

“No, but if he was, we might consider doing a fake mustache giveaway.”

In honor of Paul McCartney and his love for fake mustaches, or his love for Cooter and the Tang Ticklers?

“Both.”

So will you confirm that Sir Paul is going to be eating Sir Nachos and drinking Sir Beer on Saturday night while watching Sir Hockey at the TaxSlayer?

“I see what you’re trying to do here.”

What’s that?

“Trick me into admitting Paul McCartney is going to be here.”

Actually, I just want to know if you’re going to have beer and nachos.

“That I can confirm. Emphatically.”

So, there you have it, folks. The rumors are partially true. There will be beer and nachos at the Quad City Storm’s opening game Saturday night at 7 at the TaxSlayer Center in Moline. Paul McCartney may or may not be there. Astronaut Blake Shelton may or may not be there. Cooter and the Tang Ticklers may or may not be there, and there may or may not be fake mustaches given away that evening or another.

But there will be beer, nachos, hockey and lots of good entertainment.

Tickets can be purchased at www.QuadCityStorm.com.

Sean Leary is an author, director, artist, musician, producer and entrepreneur who has been writing professionally since debuting at age 11 in the pages of the Comics Buyers Guide. An honors graduate of the University of Southern California masters program, he has written over 50 books including the best-sellers The Arimathean, Every Number is Lucky to Someone and We Are All Characters.