Thursday - September 19, 2019
Quad Cities USA - Guide to Davenport & Bettendorf Iowa and Rock Island & Moline Illinois
 

Honest Abe! Area Lemon Bread Looks Remarkably Like President Lincoln

August 22nd, 2019

BREAKING NEWS: Four score and seven scones ago… an area breakfast consumer’s lemon poppy seed loaf has been discovered to look remarkably like the 16th president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. Honest! The sweet treat, emancipating one fortunate breakfast seeker from hunger this morning, was spared mid-nosh by the imbiber, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of enormous jealousy on the part of anyone whose breakfast did not resemble one of the greatest leaders this country has ever known. “It’s a good thing,” the unidentified area man said, “I was... Read More

Sean Leary’s Big Speech Ready To Roll Into The RNC

July 21st, 2016

By now, I’m sure all of you have heard about the controversy surrounding Melania Trump’s speech at the Republican National Convention, which, as countless memes and articles have pointed out, bears something of a more than passing resemblance to a Michelle Obama speech from some year that I don’t feel like Googling right now. But, Melania, stay sweet, girl. I feel you. Tonight, I will give my speech at the Republican National Convention. I know, I know, you might not have heard about this. Perhaps this is because the Trump people or the RNC have wanted to keep my appearance hush-hush, perhaps... Read More

Translate