Welcome to the column for all carbon-based life-forms. If you breathe oxygen, this is for you. And if you live on a planet, especially Earth, well, then, you’ve come to the right place. Sorry, but I’m just following the new trend in advertising: casting as absurdly wide a net as possible. Products used to be […]
I used up almost all my sister’s voicemail the other day. It couldn’t be avoided. There was something of vital importance I had to share with her. Taco’s “Puttin’ on the Ritz” was on the radio and the event had to be recorded for posterity. Especially the part where the robotic voice says “super duper.” […]
It was Valentine’s Day this week, which means that every bitter person out there pissed off about a breakup was posting something venomous and awful about the other gender, saying how horrible they all are. But are they really? Are ALL men, or ALL women REALLY the problem? Or is it just ONE person you’re […]
“Do you feel as depressed as I do about being single on Valentine’s Day?” A friend of mine, named Oprah, messaged me this question the other day, and it got me thinking, “Man, whatever happened to Carolina Liar? That song ‘Show Me What I’m Looking For’ was pretty friggin awesome!” Oh, yeah, also, it got […]
There’s really no good excuse this time. Joe Rogan is releasing apology videos this week like DJ Khaled releases mixes, although they’re far less entertaining, and his latest is really not very entertaining at all. In it, Rogan apologizes for a video that’s out there that has spliced together various times he’s used the N […]
This week has been an incredibly eventful one. Neil Young pulled his music from Amazon to protest them exploiting children and using forced child labor in China. Oh, wait, no, he actually didn’t! He actually told people to go to Amazon and listen to his music there! Young pulled his music from Spotify, in protest […]
It’s almost Valentine’s Day, which means that those of you in a relationship are blissfully sweating it out with the pressure inherent of being forced to prove the enormity of your love through spending money and symbolic gestures that you hope won’t be misinterpreted by your significant other because for a moment there you forgot […]
If you, or a child or friend, is on TikTok, you’ve undeniably heard the following line: “We all know the best MC is M to the B It’s M to the B It’s M M M M M to the B M to the B, M to the B Bang!” Usually though, that’s ALL you […]
He’s back. And what he’s got to say is going to shock you. Maybe. I guess it depends on your tolerance for shock. Anyway, as regular readers of this column know, I love reading about time travel, and the predictions of alleged time travelers. And while my all-time favorite is the legendary John Titor, one […]
Sometimes the headline says it all. And this is one of those times. Yes, folks, desperate times call for tough questions, and this week, the question we need to face is whether or not Betty White was really an Illuminati shapeshifter killed by Q-Anon. Now, of course to most people, Betty White was a beloved […]
