It was Valentine’s Day this week, which means that every bitter person out there pissed off about a breakup was posting something venomous and awful about the other gender, saying how horrible they all are.
But are they really?
Are ALL men, or ALL women REALLY the problem?
Or is it just ONE person you’re pissed off about, and maybe a few others you’re remembering now that you’ve had some old scars poked?
Whenever you post a meme or make a statement about how “ALL men” or “ALL women” or “ALL this or that” are all the SAME way, you do nothing productive and merely foster an environment of needless ignorance, division, and resentment.
Are ALL Men, Or ALL Women, REALLY The Problem Here?
You can’t believe all women. You can’t believe all men. You can’t condemn or lionize all people of any group based upon general characteristics.
We’re all human beings, capable of good and bad, capable of nobility and mistakes. We change. We evolve. We’ve all done dumb shit. We’ve all done some good things. We all look back at things we’ve done in the past and wince and wish we had done them differently.
That’s part of BEING A HUMAN BEING.
I’ve had plenty of wonderful and horrible encounters with people — sometimes with the same people. The same ex who signed up for credit cards in my name behind my back and left me with a surprise of over $20,000 in debt when she moved out after banging a married dude behind my back used to write me wonderfully emotional love letters and bought me a puppy for Valentine’s Day. Probably with a credit card in my name, but, ya know, details. lol… But… Different points on the map of our lives. Different decisions. Different actions. Different people, yet the same person.
So who do you condemn?
I’ve dated more than 100 women, which sounds like a hell of a lot but isn’t all that many when you consider how long I’ve been on this earth and that I’ve been unmarried a lot of that time and that I’m a pretty outgoing and social person. Let’s say it’s 100 just for an even number. Probably fewer than 10 of those ended notably badly, and really, I can only think of about five of those who I would honestly never want to see or talk to again because they acted horribly. But some of those people acted really, really, horribly.
So do I blame ALL women for the actions of 5 percent? No. I do not. Nor should any man. Nor should any women. If literally EVERY person you date ends up being terrible, sorry, but that says a lot more about you and the people you choose. Because just the odds of humanity would at least give you a 50/50 chance at finding someone at least decent. And you can’t be mad at someone merely because they grow apart from you and want to break up. That happens. That’s life. You don’t own that person, and they have a right to leave if their path is taking them elsewhere. It’s sad sometimes, but, again, that’s life. You don’t get mad at your kids and throw a hissy fit when they grow up and move out, do you?
So, ok, I get it, you want to vent after that breakup. You’re pissed off. Maybe you got cheated on — hey, I’ve certainly been there, it sucks. But maybe let’s not blame EVERY person of the gender you dated for the actions of that ONE person?
Would that really be such a difficult change to make?
No. It wouldn’t.
But would it make a change? Would it maybe make people less at odds with one another along gender lines and otherwise, to NOT see so many posts bashing ALL women or ALL men?
Yeah, it might.
It might make people realize that it’s not fair to blame an entire group of people for the actions of one individual. It might help people to be more sympathetic to others when they see that they’ve been wronged by one particular individual, rather than feel attacked for no reason.
And wouldn’t that small gesture maybe make us less divided?
Wouldn’t that small gesture maybe make you feel less bad, in recognizing that it’s just that one person that you have issue with, rather than an entire gender you’re now at war against?
Just something to think about.
And for the record, I’m not speaking for ALL men.
Just me. I’m the one who wrote this. I’m the one who takes responsibility for it. These words, and opinions, are my own.
Unlike this opinion, which I think many hold:
Epstein didn’t kill himself.
Are ALL Men, Or ALL Women, REALLY The Problem Here?
Sean Leary is an author, director, artist, musician, producer and entrepreneur who has been writing professionally since debuting at age 11 in the pages of the Comics Buyers Guide. An honors graduate of the University of Southern California masters program, he has written over 50 books including the best-sellers The Arimathean, Every Number is Lucky to Someone and We Are All Characters.
Are ALL Men, Or ALL Women, REALLY The Problem Here?

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