If you have small children, more than likely Satan is in your house.

But he doesn’t wear black robes. He’s seldom seen spinning Led Zeppelin records backward. And he’s not the one that keeps flicking on “Real Housewives” and laughing when you’re not in the room. That’s the ghost of your great-great-great-Uncle George.

Actually, he’s purple and chubby and he sings ghoulish verses that could chill the marrow of Kid Rock more than Dylan Mulvaney in a bikini!

“I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family . . .”

Are There Satanic Illuminati Messages In Children's Cartoons? Which Is The Worst Offender?

Yes, that buddy of Beelzebub is none other than Barney!

At least that’s what one preacher would have you think. I read recently that the pastor of a church in Chicago was decrying the children’s TV show “Barney and Friends” as a teacher of the occult, satanism and New Age sorcery. This kook also made an appearance on a Quad-Cities radio station, and while decorum and the fact that I lost the piece of paper I had it written on prevents me from mentioning his name, if you heard him, you undoubtably got as big a laugh out of it as I did. It’s amazing what “evil and bad influences” you can find if you look for them hard enough.

His various examples of Barney’s satanic teachings included the fact that the demon dinosaur requires a recitation ceremony to conjure himself up, and he uses “spells” taken from books to summon up beasts such as the monumentally annoying and ugly Baby Bop.

Are There Satanic Illuminati Messages In Children's Cartoons? Which Is The Worst Offender?

While I certainly would be one of the first to grab the marshmallows if this preacher suggested burning the obese, violet cash machine at the stake, this is absurd.

But he’s not the only person to say Barney is satanic.

Apparently there are a number of folks online who are saying that Barney’s very name is a tipoff to his evil. Here’s what they surmise:

The Romans had no letter ‘U’, and used ‘V’ instead for printing, meaning the Roman representation would for Barney would be: CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

Extracting the Roman numerals, we have: CV V L DI V

And their decimal equivalents are: 100 5 5 50 500 1 5

Adding those numbers produces: 666.

666 is the number of the Beast.

Proved: BARNEY IS SATAN!

Well, you can’t argue with that iron clad proof.

More proof:

Now, while you’re digesting that, let’s consider this isn’t the first time a man of the cloth has boldly strode, kids’ show in hand, into the valley of the bizarre.

The Rev. Donald Wildmon once mounted an attack on Mighty Mouse.

In one of the super rodent’s cartoons, he was seen crushing a group of aromatic flowers and snorting the concoction, after which he received a boost of energy. The reverend deduced that this was pushing cocaine use to children. Rev. Wildmon’s lemmings mounted a letter-writing campaign, and the cartoon was banished.

Are There Satanic Illuminati Messages In Children's Cartoons? Which Is The Worst Offender?

But if Rev. Wildmon or Rev. Barney-basher really wanted some fish to fry, they should’ve looked elsewhere. Children’s shows, cartoons and comics are hotbeds of sleaze, satanism and decadence. Here are a few examples:

Scooby Doo: Besides the fact that two men, two women and a dog two dogs if you count that runt Scrappy live in sin in a van, there are numerous drug references. “Scooby DOOBIE Doo” — just who does Hanna Barbera think they’re kidding? Shaggy, a hippy, constantly has the munchies. Like many junkies, the characters have little regard for their personal appearance, wearing the same clothes day in and day out. And just what IS in those Scooby snacks, hmmmm? They’re the crack to Mighty Mouse’s flower coke.

Are There Satanic Illuminati Messages In Children's Cartoons? Which Is The Worst Offender?

Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood: You can find it right next to Gomorrah! At the beginning of each show, this high priest puts on his sweater/robe and conjures up a land of make-believe that includes a talking owl an agent of Satan, a black cat ditto and whatever the heck Lady Fairchild is more frightening than a Stephen King trilogy.

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Speed Racer: They may as well call it Angel Dust Racer! Characters’ mouths don’t move in synch with their words — a sure sign of speaking in tongues and demonic possession. Racer X’s uniform and car are emblazoned with an upside-down cross!

Peanuts: The gay relationship between Marcy and the bisexual Peppermint Patty teaches children homosexuality. And Peppermint Patty’s lust for Charlie Brown demonstrates promiscuity. Add to that Lucy’s psychiatric practice New Age philosophy replacing religion, Schroeder’s statue of Beethoven worship of pagan idols and Linus’ blanket a veiled reference to premarital sexual relations, and you’ll see that this is a future witches’ brew.

Popeye: Spinach? Ug-ug-ug –don’t make me laugh. Popeye eats a leafy green substance and gets a huge rush. Olive Oyl and Sweet-Pea promote single-parent homes and premarital relations.

Little Orphan Annie: The characters all have no eyeballs, a clear-cut sign of demonic possession.

Are There Satanic Illuminati Messages In Children's Cartoons? Which Is The Worst Offender?

He who smelt it dealt it, Casper.

B.C.: Before Christ? Hands down, the biggest group of pagan sinners on the comics page.

Casper the Ghost and Wendy the Witch: What else could you expect from the same comics company that came up with Hot Stuff, a demon-spawn, and the greed-laden Richie Rich?

Cathy: This strip propagates suicide. How? Well, more than once, I’ve heard men say, “If I ever ended up with a woman like Cathy, I think I’d kill myself!”

Well, there you have it, reverends. You have your work cut out for you, and I haven’t even gone into the sexual tension that abounds on “The Smurfs.”

After all, it’s tough enough to sleep at night knowing that somewhere out there, Barney and Baby Bop are probably digging up graves and scrounging for eye of newt.

Are There Satanic Illuminati Messages In Children's Cartoons? Which Is The Worst Offender?
Sean Leary is an author, director, artist, musician, producer and entrepreneur who has been writing professionally since debuting at age 11 in the pages of the Comics Buyers Guide. An honors graduate of the University of Southern California masters program, he has written over 50 books including the best-sellers The Arimathean, Every Number is Lucky to Someone and We Are All Characters.
Are There Satanic Illuminati Messages In Children's Cartoons? Which Is The Worst Offender?

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