If you have small children, more than likely Satan is in your house. But he doesn’t wear black robes. He’s seldom seen spinning Led Zeppelin records backward. And he’s not the one that keeps flicking on “Real Housewives” and laughing when you’re not in the room. That’s the ghost of your great-great-great-Uncle George. Actually, he’s purple and chubby and he sings ghoulish verses that could chill the marrow of Kid Rock more than Dylan Mulvaney in a bikini! “I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family . . .” Yes, that buddy... Read More

Do ghosts fart? Ever walk into your house after you’ve been away, or walk into a room and notice a strange smell? Of course, once you do, you have to try to find it, to try to get rid of it, because who wants a strange smell in their house? I’ll usually look for some dropped food or something behind or under furniture, and sometimes that’s the case. Some bit of stray potable that tried to escape and sadly discovered its motion was limited to whatever got it there in the first place, and then was left, saddened, and chastened, to rot in bitterness and disappointment. It’s like the Brando... Read More

To celebrate Halloween, I’m dropping multiple columns for your laughs and enjoyment. Hope you all have a happy and safe holiday! Do ghosts fart? Ever walk into your house after you’ve been away, or walk into a room and notice a strange smell? Of course, once you do, you have to try to find it, to try to get rid of it, because who wants a strange smell in their house? I’ll usually look for some dropped food or something behind or under furniture, and sometimes that’s the case. Some bit of stray potable that tried to escape and sadly discovered its motion was limited to whatever got it... Read More