Dylan Mulvaney Rainbow Trans Bud Light Can Controversy Needs To Sober Up
So, welcome back to bizarro world.
As we look at China, Russia, Saudi Arabia decoupling from the dollar as a central currency, as we struggle with the rising cost of everything, and as we look at a looming recession, the latest distraction mechanism to be spit forward by the elitist mainstream media is a beer fart about a rainbow booze can.
For those who have lives and don’t have to report on this stuff for a living, here’s the gist:
Dylan Mulvaney is a fringe figure in pop culture right now who’s gained popularity with Gen Z over the past year. When she was a he, he was a Broadway star whose biggest claim to fame was starring in “Book of Mormon.” Hardly a household name to anyone beyond Manhattan.
Then he became a she, and started making videos about her transition to becoming a girl. Not a woman, mind you, but a girl. That’s how Dylan phrased it, and she certainly followed that path, acting more like a pre-teen and early-teen girl with her goofy sense of humor and upbeat frivolity about everything. She dresses like a cross between Jackie Kennedy and Audrey Hepburn, and acts like a far more delicate version of a girl pop star, say, like, Debbie Gibson or someone like that.
Not exactly what you’d call an existential threat to the existence of America.
Yet many conservatives absolutely went nuts over Dylan Mulvaney, flipping out over her goofy videos. Why? Because they need to come up with material every day and there are only so many real things to get truly upset about, I guess. The more intellectual of the conservative commentators used her as more comic relief, recognizing that her schtick wasn’t exactly threatening, but it was goofy, and, ironically, offensive to some women who criticized Dylan for portraying a broad and stereotypical version of a girl/woman. But the more crazy conservative commentators acted as if she was some sort of existential threat for talking about bubble baths, fluffy pajamas and sleepovers. Pretty ridiculous all around.
But still, all of this remained very, very, fringe. Even now, most people have no clue who Dylan Mulvaney even is.
Then came the Bud Light thing.
Then came the controversy.
The entire Dylan Mulvaney/Bud Light thing is so bizarre I thought it was an Onion story when I first read about it.
Bud Light, which has for ages been known as a cheap blue-collar beer appealing to a broad, middle-of-the-road audience, decided to get woke.
Or at least its executives decided to woke it up.
For some reason which makes little to no sense to me or anyone else possessing common sense let alone a knowledge of marketing and advertising demographics, the execs behind the cheap proletarian swill decided to come out with a custom rainbow beer can celebrating a fringe trans person who hardly anyone knows, and whose own brand is about as far from Bud Light as you can imagine. It was a craven move by a multinational company to court the morons on the far left, who fall for these types of transparent virtue signalling things that have little to no feeling behind them and are just craven commercial moves to pander to an audience and sell their products.
Then, because some of the morons on the far right have nothing better to do and get triggered by ridiculous crap like this, they went absolutely ape shit. Conservatives took to social media, posting pictures of themselves throwing out, running over, and shooting up six packs of Bud Light, which, again, is so moronic that I first thought it was an Onion story when I heard about these things.
One: Let’s state the obvious. Who at Bud Light HQ thought it was a brilliant idea to have Dylan Mulvaney as a spokesperson for freakin’ BUD LIGHT? It’s BUD LIGHT! It’s just a ridiculous pairing. It’s not even the trans factor that’s incongruous, it’s the fact that it’s Dylan Mulvaney! It would be like Natalie Portman sponsoring Bud Light! I could see a big, bawdy LGBTQ person like RuPaul in a Bud Light commercial. But Dylan Mulvaney? She’s a trans twink who dresses like Audrey Hepburn, is a Broadway star, and acts like a pre-teen girl. Honestly, what’s next, “Here’s Belle and Sebastian for Strohs”?
Two: Why are all of you people so freaked out and horrified by it though? I can see thinking it’s an odd coupling, or making fun of Bud Light for trying to be trendy and woke, but, really, you’re terrified of DYLAN MULVANEY? Have you ever really seen her videos? She’s one of the most innocuous and lightweight performers on the interwebs. It’s like having satanic panic over JoJo Siwa.
Three: Folks, do you realize what gigantic morons and assholes you look like for buying Bud Light and then running over the cans with your trucks and shooting them with your guns? Really? I mean, seriously. For one, YOU’RE BUYING THE DAMN BEER, SO YOU’RE GIVING THEM YOUR MONEY TO MAKE A DUMBASS TIKTOK VIDEO. For another, what the hell point is made by running over beer cans? The pinnacle of absolute “Really, this has got to be an Onion story” stupidity was the video by rich trust fund kid and fake redneck Kid Rock, shooting up a bunch of beers with a rifle or something. What a dipshit.
Jeez, this is really the world we live in?
With everything else going on.
With all the real problems we have that we could and should be concentrating on.
People are getting all worked up about a stupid beer can and an ill-conceived and craven marketing campaign for crap beer.
We have to be in an alternate dimension or something… thanks CERN!