Def Leppard’s ‘Armageddon It’ Should Be The State Song, But For Which State?
Words really can’t express how disappointed I am in lawmakers — on both sides of the aisle — in BOTH Illinois and Iowa.
I’m just tired of the empty promises, the delaying, the obfuscation, the laziness in putting off one of the biggest and most profound issues of the day that, again, BOTH parties from BOTH states should be addressing.
And that is that neither state has officially adopted Def Leppard’s “Armageddon It” as the official state song.
I mean, c’mon people.
Or, ya know, in words of Joe Biden, “C’mon maaaan!”
Listen, I mean, REALLY listen to this song.
And then ask yourself, you spineless political hacks, if either of your state songs is anywhere near as ass-kicking as this one.
Spoiler alert: They’re not.
Let’s start with Iowa, and their limp mess of a state song.
According to a Google search I just did a few seconds ago after opening my eighth beer, “The Song of Iowa” is the regional anthem of the U.S. state of Iowa, written by S. H. M. Byers in 1867 and adopted as the official state song by the Iowa State Legislature on March 20, 1911. The song is set to the tune “O Tannenbaum” and Byers’ lyrics’ theme is centered on his love and praise for Iowa.
Fuck that noise.
For one, “The Song of Iowa?” Jesus. Total lack of imagination there in the title.
For another, it rips off another song, and then it says that the song is centered on the lyricist’s love and praise for Iowa.
And yet it doesn’t mention the Hawkeyes, Casey’s or Busch Light.
Fuckin’ lame, S.H.M. Byers.
Not anywhere near as full-on, undeniably ass-kicking as “Armageddon It.”
Ok, on to Illinois.
Anyway, much like Iowa’s lame-o ditty, The Land of Lincoln’s state song is weak ass shit.
According to Wikipedia, “Illinois” is the regional anthem of the U.S. state of Illinois. Written in the early 1890s by Civil War veteran Charles H. Chamberlain, the verses were set to the tune of “Baby Mine,” a popular song composed in 1870 by Archibald Johnston.
Both state songs are about as unoriginal as you can get.
Both have banal names. Both are ripoffs of previous songs.
And neither of them kick ass.
Now, let’s compare those two turds to Def Leppard’s “Armageddon It.”
Kicks ass? YES.
Features a one-armed drummer? YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT.
Is about both the end of the world and having sex, perhaps also having sex during the end of the world? FUCK YES.
And that’s just the start.
There are myriad reasons why “Armageddon It” should be the state song for one of our fair states. But, why don’t you just watch the video and listen for yourself, and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
See what I mean?
You think “The Song of Iowa” is getting big-haired ’80s babes to sing along to it?
I think not.
So, once again, I petition all of you politicians, both Democrat and Republican, to finally, FINALLY, do something of substance and impact.
Vote to make Def Leppard’s “Armageddon It” as your state song.
Then invite Def Leppard to headline your State Fair, to play your state song.
You can do it.
To quoth a wise man:
“You know you, can’t stop it,
So don’t rock it
You know you got it
Hey, but ARE YOU GETTIN’ IT?
REALLY GETTING IT?”
Oh, come on give it to the residents of Illinois and Iowa!