When it comes to singing, most of us are best served in our quest at vocal immortality by forgiving shower walls. Some bar band and karaoke heroes are a rung up, but we also have the advantage of typically serenading the inebriated. Even in the case of some “professional vocalists” the studio trickery of Autotune is what makes them pristine and listenable on record. However, a day may not be too far off when every crooner is perfect. A day when singers are bred, not discovered. No, this isn’t about “American  Idol.”  However, it will likely spawn a reality TV show someday. Recently,... Read More

Listen, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Wow! Taylor Swift just released a new album! I wonder which ex-boyfriends all her songs are about?” Oh, you naïve child. Taylor Swift’s songs have never been about ex-boyfriends, any more than Planet Ping Pong’s pizza menu has been about pizza. Of course, those of us who aren’t SHEEPLE all know Taylor (I can call her Taylor) has long been a tool of the Illuminati, and her songs have incorporated secret coded metaphors for the takeover of the world. “Blank Space?” About people having their memories erased and reprogrammed... Read More

When it comes to singing, most of us are best served in our quest at vocal immortality by forgiving shower walls. Some bar band and karaoke heroes are a rung up, but we also have the advantage of typically serenading the inebriated. Even in the case of some “professional vocalists” the studio trickery of Pro Tools is what makes them pristine and listenable on record.  However, a day may not be too far off when every crooner is perfect. A day when singers are bred, not discovered. No, this isn’t about “American  Idol.”  However, it will likely spawn a reality TV... Read More