A Night Out At The Clubs Post-Covid Proves Some Things Never Change
As an entertainment writer, part of my job entails periodically going out to hit the local scene and check out what, if anything, is new and exciting, especially now that things have been opened up again, and hopefully will remain so (damn Delta variant!)
However, a night out at the bars, clubs and haciendas isn’t only recreational. Sometimes it can be educational as well.
Here are some of the observations I made, after a recent night’s cogent examination of the local night life:
Birds aren’t the only ones with mating moves: You can pretty much scan the crowd and see who’s into whom, who’s checking out whom, who’s trying to get with whom, and who’s interested either way. It’s fascinating and quite frankly hilarious to watch, and body language is loud and clear.
Man, those Dan Flashes shirts with the loud patterns really are back in style. I hope nobody has gotten any injuries buying them. I hear that’s a very aggressive store.
Most girls will dance to almost any song. Most guys only have a few songs they’ll dance to. Some guys have one song they will dance to, and usually those guys have developed an elaborate choreography routine to accompany it. However, most of the time, it’s primarily a lot of women on the dance floor, and a couple of guys gamely doing their best.
You can say anything — no matter how vile, depraved, sexist or misogynist — in a lyric and as long as you accompany it with a killer dance beat, people won’t care.
New Order’s “Bizarre Love Triangle” is still one of the best dance songs ever recorded.
Sometimes, the world really is like “The King of Queens.” Take a good look around next time you’re at a general bar or club. You’ll see more than your fair share of Leah Reminis with Kevin Jameses. And I’m not just talking about attractive women with heavy-set guys, I’m talking about women who obviously spent a lot of time getting ready and guys who obviously haven’t.
Sorry guys, but if a woman spends at least an hour getting ready, a guy shouldn’t be allowed to go out with her if his idea of “getting ready” looks as if it’s grabbing a t-shirt from the top quarter of the hamper and throwing on a baseball hat that looks like it’s been partially chewed by a pug. Hey, I’ve dated my fair share and I know how long it takes a woman to get ready to look as good as a lot of them do, and they’re with these goombas who look like they’re on their way to a kegger softball game. Which is fine if you’re on your way to a kegger softball game. Not so much so if you’re going out to a nice restaurant or going out with a girl who looks like she just stepped out of an issue of Vogue. Somewhere, Kevin James and Adam Sandler are both smiling and nodding contentedly, knowing full well nothing I say is going to change this.
On your way home, you can see people run red lights, crash into garbage cans and shrubs and slowly swerve into the oncoming lane repeatedly, but if you’re driving sanely around the speed limit, stone sober and the designated driver, you’re the one who will get pulled over for a random check at 3 a.m.