Here’s my last take on the Will Smith and Chris Rock thing: We need to stop ignoring the fact that various government agencies have admitted over the past year that UFOs are real. Not even kidding. I know, I know, I usually joke around about conspiracies and such in this column, but this is real — the government has admitted that UFOs exist. And instead of concentrating on ridiculous crap like Will Smith, the Kardashians, Kid Rock, Bhad Bhabie, and various other moronic garbage, it’s kind of stunning that more people aren’t interested in, and talking about, this shocking... Read More

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Orange juice? Me, too! Coffee? Me, too! Leftover pizza? Me, too! I guess there must be some special bond between us. Something unique. Something real. You know, I haven’t felt this way since I read that Charlize Theron likes to drink Red Bull — just as I do. I hadn’t felt that way since I had read that Sarah Michelle Gellar is a big fan of tiramisu — just as I am. Those revelations were important to me, my sense of identity and my sense of well-being because they gave me a tangible, iron-clad link to someone famous. And that, we all know, is... Read More