Time Traveler Visits Quad-Cities From Past, With Mozz Sticks
Stunning evidence of time travel has been discovered in the Quad-Cities!
QuadCities.com has uncovered shocking proof that the past version of area performance artist Khalil Hacker (best known for his socially and politically incendiary controversial devouring of donuts on live video) visited the present local man’s residence, slipped seductively into a Star Wars-themed man lingerie, watched a popular Dustin Hoffman movie, made himself some delicious mozzarella sticks (which he then devoured) and then, in a cheeky, brazen act of unmitigated, magnificent audacity, posted about his activities on Hacker’s Facebook for his future self to discover.
Below is the post, openly admitted to have been made by PAST TIMELINE KHALIL.
We warn you, this is shocking and could be disturbing. Those who are easily triggered by time travel scenarios, Chewbacca pajamas or mozzarella sticks are warned.
Are you ready?
I said, ARE YOU READY??!!!!?????
Here’s the post from past timeline Khalil, including brash, spiky, braggadocio in opening line:
“(This is mostly to remind future Khalil in Facebook memories a few years down the line)
It’s 2:00am. It’s Quarantimes. I just finished Tootsie for the first time. I’m wearing my Chewbacca onesie. I put some mozzarella sticks in the oven. I throw away the box. I notice the trash is a little full. I take the trash outside to discover it’s full on snowing. Less than like 4 days ago it was 78° outside. Everything is broken.
@FutureKhalil. Is the future cool or is it the big apocalypse? Love ya, buddy.”
What could this mean to the current timeline now that the Khalils have interacted? Is his mentioning of taking out the trash and mention of the weather shift a hint as to climate change scenarios we should attend to in this timeline??? Is “everything is broken” an ominous portent? Or is it an ominous portent to a future R.E.M. album?
Will this impact his devouring of future mozz sticks or donuts?
Could this have any standing in regard to purchases of Chewbacca onesies on Wish?
Scientists, conspiracy theorists and people with nothing better to do on social media are deep in research to find the answers.
Stay tuned to your site for fun, free, local entertainment, features and time travel, QuadCities.com, for more!