If you’re looking for a way to add more bacon to your diet — and let’s face it, who isn’t? — Dunkin Donuts has just the option for you with a new, literal bucket o’ bacon.

Yup, for those of us who feel that bacon and eggs would be so much better without those pesky eggs, DD has debuted the new Snackin’ Bacon, which features eight strips of bacon in a little paper bucket. According to the Dunkin Donuts website, “Our Snackin’ Bacon starts its journey smoked with natural cherrywood. It’s then treated to our sweet and savory blend of brown sugar and black pepper seasoning, creating a delightfully caramelized bacon our fans know and love from our Sweet Black Pepper Bacon Breakfast Sandwich.”

Ah yes, to know the Sweet Black Pepper Bacon Breakfast Sandwich is surely to love it.

But let’s continue…

“With its classic flavors featured in everything from toothpaste to vodka, bacon is a phenomenon,” the site maintains (true dat), “but, at Dunkin’, we believe the best way to enjoy bacon is simple: eat it.”

A novel concept.

But HOW, Dunkin??? Damn it, how exactly DO we eat this earth “bacon????”

“Straight up, preferably paired with an iced coffee for the optimal experience,” DD says.

Whew! I’ve been doing it right all along. Thank the Jesus.

But why this way?

“Because of the sweet caramelized, candied flavor profile, the new Snackin’ Bacon pairs perfectly with our caramel, French vanilla, and hazelnut flavor swirls,” DD says. “Whether you opt for a Dunkin’ iced coffee, iced latte, or Cold Brew, we’re sure you’ll agree this afternoon pairing is the perfect snack to get you through the day.

“If you’ve ever reached for an afternoon snack and found yourself wildly disappointed, our new Snackin’ Bacon with Sweet Black Pepper seasoning will cure those afternoon blues. Here at Dunkin’, we’ve been working hard to formulate the perfect afternoon pick-me-up and really, what’s better than a bag full of bacon?”

Hard to argue with that logic.

DD Snakin’ Bacon is in stores nationwide. Don’t forget to schedule an appointment with your cardiologist for later this year.

 

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Sean Leary is an author, director, artist, musician, producer and entrepreneur who has been writing professionally since debuting at age 11 in the pages of the Comics Buyers Guide. An honors graduate of the University of Southern California masters program, he has written over 50 books including the best-sellers The Arimathean, Every Number is Lucky to Someone and We Are All Characters.